I never imagined that a simple message from an unknown number would eventually turn into one of the strangest situations I’ve ever experienced in a relationship. A few weeks ago, I received a text from someone claiming to be my ex-boyfriend, James. The timing seemed completely believable because James had recently posted on Facebook that he had changed his phone number. Since we had ended our relationship on good terms, I didn’t see any reason to ignore him. Our conversation was casual and friendly, and there was absolutely nothing romantic about it. We talked about how life was going, how things had changed, and eventually he asked how my relationship with my current boyfriend, Max, was going. At the time, I had no idea that the person on the other end wasn’t James at all.

When Max found out that I had been talking to James, he immediately became uncomfortable. He told me that if I could communicate with my ex, then he should also be allowed to talk to his former girlfriend, Brooke. I told him that I wasn’t interested in controlling who he talked to, but I reminded him that there was a reason I had previously asked him to block Brooke. Their relationship had always made me uncomfortable because their conversations were often flirtatious, and Brooke had even continued sending Max intimate photos after he and I became a couple. I wasn’t asking him to block someone simply because she was an ex. I was asking him to establish a boundary with someone who had repeatedly crossed the boundaries of our relationship.

Max didn’t see it that way. He argued that I was being unfair and that my conversation with James proved that I had different rules for myself. I tried explaining that my conversation with James was completely innocent, but Max insisted that if I could talk to my ex, then he should have the same freedom. Eventually, I stopped arguing because I didn’t want the situation to turn into a massive fight. I told him that he could make his own decision, even though I knew it would hurt me if he chose to contact Brooke again. At that point, I thought the disagreement was simply going to be something we would have to work through together.

A few days later, however, I started noticing strange things about the person who had been messaging me as James. Some of the questions seemed unusually focused on my relationship with Max. The conversation was still friendly, but certain comments didn’t sound like something my ex would normally say. I began thinking about the messages more carefully and realized that the person seemed almost too interested in what was happening between Max and me. I initially tried to dismiss my suspicions because I didn’t want to create unnecessary drama, but eventually I decided to contact the real James directly and ask whether he had actually been messaging me from a new number.

His answer completely shocked me. James told me that he hadn’t sent me any messages and that he hadn’t given me a new number to contact him. Suddenly, all the strange details started making sense. The person I had been talking to wasn’t my ex. Someone had deliberately pretended to be him, and I immediately started wondering who would go to that much effort and why.

When I confronted Max, the truth finally came out. He admitted that he had created the fake number and pretended to be James. His goal was to make me believe that my ex had contacted me so he could use my conversation with the fake James as an argument for why he should be allowed to contact Brooke. He wanted to prove that I was being hypocritical, but instead of simply discussing his feelings with me, he created an entire situation designed to make me look guilty. I was completely stunned that my own boyfriend had gone that far just to win an argument.

What hurt me most was that Max had deliberately manipulated my trust. I wasn’t flirting with anyone, hiding conversations, or trying to reconnect with my ex. I genuinely believed I was talking to someone from my past who had reached out to me. Max knew that and still decided to deceive me. Even if his intention was only to make a point, he had no right to create a fake identity and trick me into believing someone else was contacting me.

I also couldn’t accept his argument that my situation and his situation were exactly the same. James and I had ended our relationship peacefully, and our conversation was completely platonic. Brooke’s situation was different because she had continued sending Max intimate pictures and maintaining a flirtatious relationship with him. That was why I had asked him to block her in the first place. If Max genuinely believed the boundary was unfair, he could have sat down with me and explained his feelings. We could have talked about it and possibly reached a compromise. Instead, he chose deception.

Since discovering the truth, I’ve been questioning much more than whether Max should talk to Brooke. I’m questioning whether I can trust him at all. If he was willing to create a fake number and pretend to be my ex just to prove a point, what happens the next time he becomes jealous or feels that something is unfair? I don’t want to be in a relationship where I constantly have to wonder whether someone’s words are genuine or whether there is another motive behind them.

Max has apologized and says he understands why what he did was wrong. He keeps telling me that he loves me and that he never intended for things to go this far. Part of me wants to believe that this was simply an incredibly bad decision made out of jealousy. But another part of me can’t stop thinking about how much planning went into it. This wasn’t something he accidentally said during an argument. He created a fake number, pretended to be someone else, and carried on a conversation with me without my knowledge.

Now I have to decide what this means for our future. I don’t want to punish him forever for one terrible decision, but I also don’t want to ignore something that has completely changed my understanding of our relationship. The real issue isn’t James or Brooke anymore. It’s honesty, boundaries, and trust. I wish Max had simply told me that he felt hurt or that he believed our boundaries were unfair. Instead, he tried to prove his point by deceiving me, and that has left me wondering whether our relationship can recover. I never expected a disagreement about exes to reveal such a serious problem, but now I have to decide whether the trust he broke can ever truly be rebuilt.

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My [25f] boyfriend [24m] got a fake number pretending to be my ex [25m] just so he could talk to his ex girlfriend [20f]

Sorry if this title is confusing, I will explain best I can.

My Boyfriend – Max My Ex boyfriend – James Max’s Ex girlfriend – Brooke

2 weeks ago I received a text from an unknown number, claiming they were my ex boyfriend James. I believed it was James as he did write a status on Facebook saying he had a new number. It was just casual talk “how are things?” “How’s your new boyfriend?” I replied platonically and friendly as we did end on good terms.

My current boyfriend Max said if I am talking to my ex then he should be allowed to speak to his ex Brooke. I said that’s fine, you can speak to who you want although you know I won’t like that. I wasn’t happy because the only reason I ever stopped him talking to Brooke is because their messages were always flirty and she still sent him nudes.

So I asked him to block her, and he did. But He said he would talk to her anyway because I am speaking to James.

That was that.

A few days later, Max went to make dinner, and I was up in the bedroom.

I was looking for some socks from Max’s drawer, and I found a cheap mobile phone that I never saw before.

I looked on it and it was the texts I sent to James.

I was livid. He was pretending to be my ex boyfriend?

I confronted max straight away, and he admitted that he wanted to get back in touch with Brooke, and he thought if I spoke to my ex James, he could use that as an excuse to be able to talk to Brooke.

I am pissed off. I am really angry that he had to do this behind my back.

I asked to see his messages between Brooke and they are all flirty and just borderline inappropriate.

Tldr ; my boyfriend pretended to be my ex so he could speak to his ex.

We live together, + own a dog. Is this salvageable? where do I go from here?

I Thought My Ex Had Texted Me—Then I Discovered Who Was Really Behind the Messages

I never imagined that a random text message from an unknown number would eventually expose a problem in my relationship that I hadn’t even realized was there. What started as a completely ordinary conversation with someone I believed was my ex-boyfriend quickly became a complicated situation involving jealousy, trust, manipulation, and my boyfriend’s former girlfriend.

My current boyfriend, Max, and I had been together for some time, and until recently, I believed we had a fairly normal relationship. Like most couples, we had disagreements, but I never thought he would intentionally deceive me to prove a point.

The situation started when I received a message from an unknown number. The person claimed to be my ex-boyfriend, James. At first, I was surprised, but I didn’t immediately think anything suspicious was happening.

James had recently posted something on Facebook saying that he had a new phone number. Because of that, the message seemed completely believable. I had no reason to assume someone else was pretending to be him.

James and I had ended our relationship on good terms. There was no bad blood between us, and we hadn’t been trying to get back together. So when the person claiming to be him asked how I was doing, I didn’t see any problem with answering.

Our conversation was completely casual. We talked about how things were going and what had changed in our lives since we had last been together.

Eventually, the conversation turned toward my current relationship. The person claiming to be James asked how things were going with my new boyfriend, Max.

I answered honestly, but I made sure to keep everything friendly and platonic. I wasn’t flirting with James or hiding anything from Max. As far as I knew, I was simply having a harmless conversation with someone I had once cared about.

When Max found out that I had been talking to James, his reaction wasn’t what I expected.

He immediately told me that if I was allowed to talk to my ex, then he should be allowed to talk to his ex-girlfriend, Brooke.

I understood why he might feel uncomfortable. If the situation had been reversed, I probably wouldn’t have loved the idea either. But there was an important difference between my relationship with James and Max’s relationship with Brooke.

I explained that I wasn’t trying to reconnect with James. We had simply exchanged a few friendly messages, and there was nothing romantic happening.

Max argued that the principle was the same. According to him, if I could communicate with someone I had previously dated, then I had no right to tell him who he could talk to.

I reminded him that I had never asked him to avoid Brooke simply because she was his ex.

There was a specific reason I had been uncomfortable with their communication.

Their messages had frequently been flirtatious, and Brooke had continued sending Max intimate photos even after he and I became a couple.

That was completely different from a polite conversation with an ex who had moved on with his life.

Because of Brooke’s behavior, I had previously asked Max to block her. After some discussion, he agreed and blocked her.

I thought that boundary had been settled.

But now Max told me he intended to talk to Brooke again because I was talking to James.

I didn’t want to spend hours arguing about it. I told him that he could make his own choices, even though I made it clear that I wasn’t comfortable with him reconnecting with Brooke.

At that point, I thought the argument was over.

I had no idea that Max had already decided to take things much further.

A few days passed, and I continued receiving messages from the person I believed was James.

At first, everything seemed normal. But after reading the conversations again, I started noticing little things that didn’t quite make sense.

The person seemed unusually interested in my relationship with Max.

Some questions felt more personal than anything James would normally ask.

I tried to ignore the feeling because I didn’t want to become paranoid. There was still no obvious proof that anything was wrong.

Eventually, though, I decided to contact the real James directly.

I asked him whether he had actually messaged me from a new number.

His response left me completely stunned.

James told me that he hadn’t contacted me at all.

He also told me that he hadn’t given me a new number.

Suddenly, I realized that the person I had been talking to wasn’t James.

Someone had deliberately pretended to be my ex.

My first thought was that maybe someone was playing a cruel joke. I couldn’t immediately understand who would go through the trouble of creating a fake number just to communicate with me.

Then I started thinking about everything that had happened with Max.

The timing suddenly seemed very strange.

Max had been upset about me talking to James.

He had repeatedly argued that I was being unfair because he couldn’t talk to Brooke.

And then, shortly afterward, someone pretending to be James began asking me questions about my relationship.

I confronted Max and asked him directly whether he knew anything about the fake number.

At first, he tried to avoid giving me a straight answer.

But eventually, he admitted the truth.

He had created the fake number.

He had been pretending to be James the entire time.

I honestly didn’t know what to say.

I had been responding to those messages because I believed I was speaking to a person I knew.

Meanwhile, the person on the other side was my own boyfriend, secretly watching how I responded.

Max explained that he wanted to prove that I was being hypocritical.

He wanted to make me believe that James had contacted me so he could use the situation as an excuse to talk to Brooke.

In his mind, he was showing me how it felt to be in his position.

But from my perspective, he had deliberately manipulated me.

He could have simply told me that he felt uncomfortable with my conversation with James.

He could have asked me to agree on the same boundaries for both of us.

He could even have told me that he wanted to reconnect with Brooke and asked me how I felt about it.

Instead, he created a fake identity and deceived me.

That was the part that hurt the most.

I wasn’t angry because he had been jealous.

I was angry because he chose manipulation instead of communication.

Max kept insisting that he hadn’t intended to hurt me.

He said he simply wanted me to understand his perspective.

But I told him that there were much healthier ways to make someone understand your feelings.

You don’t have to impersonate someone they know.

You don’t have to create fake evidence.

And you certainly don’t have to trick your partner into believing they’re having a conversation with someone else.

I also reminded him that my conversation with James was completely different from his previous relationship with Brooke.

James wasn’t sending me intimate pictures.

James wasn’t flirting with me.

James wasn’t trying to become involved in my relationship.

We were simply having a friendly conversation after ending our relationship peacefully.

Brooke’s behavior toward Max had crossed boundaries that we had already discussed.

That’s why the comparison didn’t feel fair to me.

Max eventually apologized and admitted that what he did was wrong.

But an apology doesn’t immediately restore trust.

I started wondering what else he might be capable of doing if he felt jealous or believed something was unfair.

Before this happened, I never questioned whether Max was being honest with me.

Now I found myself wondering whether every unexpected message, every unusual conversation, and every strange situation could have some hidden explanation.

That isn’t how I want to feel in a relationship.

I don’t want to become someone who checks phones, investigates numbers, or constantly searches for evidence.

I want to be able to trust the person I’m with.

Max says he understands that he crossed a serious line and promises that he won’t ever do anything like this again.

Part of me wants to believe him.

Another part of me is still trying to process how easily he was willing to manipulate a situation instead of talking to me.

I’ve also realized that this situation isn’t really about James anymore.

And it’s not even primarily about Brooke.

The real issue is how Max handles conflict.

When he felt hurt and jealous, he didn’t communicate honestly.

He tried to create a situation where I would look guilty so that his own actions would seem justified.

That worries me much more than the question of whether he talks to his ex.

I’m still deciding what I want to do about our relationship.

I don’t want to make a permanent decision while I’m still emotional, but I also don’t want to pretend this wasn’t serious.

Trust can sometimes be rebuilt, but it requires honesty, consistency, and a willingness to accept responsibility.

For now, I’m taking some time to think about what I need from Max if we’re going to move forward.

I need clear boundaries.

I need honesty.

And most importantly, I need to know that when something bothers him, he’ll talk to me instead of trying to manipulate the situation.

Looking back, I wish he had simply sat down with me and said, “I’m uncomfortable with you talking to James, and I feel like the rules aren’t equal.”

That conversation might have been difficult, but at least it would have been honest.

Instead, he chose to pretend to be someone else.

And that decision changed the way I see our relationship.

I still don’t know whether we’ll eventually be able to move past this.

Maybe this was one terrible decision caused by jealousy.

Maybe it revealed a deeper problem that we need to address.

Either way, I’ve learned something important: disagreements between couples are normal, but deception should never be the way someone tries to win an argument.

I thought the biggest problem was whether my boyfriend should be allowed to talk to his ex.

Now I realize the bigger question is whether I can trust the person I’m dating when things don’t go his way.

And honestly, that’s a much harder question to answer.