Woman Opens Up About Being Repulsed By Boyfriend, Gets A Reality Check From The Internet

A woman turned to the internet for advice after admitting she had started feeling repulsed by her boyfriend. She explained that while he had always treated her with kindness and respect, her physical attraction toward him had slowly faded over time. Unsure whether these feelings were temporary or a sign that the relationship had run its course, she shared her concerns online in hopes of gaining an outside perspective.

Her post quickly attracted hundreds of responses. Many people encouraged her to reflect on whether her feelings were caused by stress, emotional distance, or unrealistic expectations rather than her boyfriend himself. Others pointed out that long-term relationships naturally go through phases where attraction changes, and they urged her not to make a life-changing decision based solely on temporary emotions.

The Internet Challenged Her Perspective

As the discussion continued, the woman received a reality check from many commenters. They reminded her that no partner remains exactly the same over the years and that healthy relationships require honesty, communication, and mutual effort. While some agreed that ending the relationship was the right choice if her feelings were truly gone, others believed she should first have an open conversation with her boyfriend before making a final decision she might later regret.

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I (29F) am now disgusted by my boyfriend of 7 years (28M)

My boyfriend used to be the most gorgeous, attractive, magnetic person I’d ever met. Things have changed slowly, and seven years on, it feels like he’s an entirely different person.

I might get torn apart for being shallow, but I wish I didn’t feel this way. I still love him and I want to be with him forever, but my body feels repulsion when he touches me, I don’t want my family or friends to see him, I don’t want to be in photos with him… I wish I could not care, but I can’t change my feelings.

He has a beautiful face. He’ll always be beautiful to me. But the issue is he doesn’t take care of ANYTHING in his life – his room and his car look like actual landfill sites, every hotel we’ve stayed at has become a pigsty within one day because of the mess he makes, and he doesn’t look after himself, his health, his hair or his clothes.

I’ve asked him endlessly to be a bit more considerate – it affects me too. I sit in his car with my legs crumpled up because of all the cans and rubbish on the floor, the dirt on the seats stains my clothes, I have to sleep in his disgusting room that makes me itchy. It’s just gross.

But when it comes to his appearance, the topic is more difficult to breach.

He has a skinny build, but his beer belly is the largest I’ve ever seen. It’s genuinely comparable to a 9 month pregnancy. We go to festivals and he takes his shirt off and I feel so embarrassed. If he were chubby I’d actually be okay with it, but he’s not, he has this descended swollen stomach that looks unusual. People stare. He also has an alcohol problem. I’ve asked him to stop drinking daily, but he won’t stop. That’s another issue. I’ll be damned if I end up with an alcoholic.

He’s also losing his hair. I’ve been so gentle, accepting and supporting of this as I know it can’t be helped. But the issue is the general lack of grooming. He lets it grow out long, accentuating the balding. It’s unbrushed and unkempt. He also never shaves and has horrible messy stubble up his cheeks. Along with all the other issues, I’m really worried about what he’ll look like once he’s further along with his balding. Knowing him, he won’t stay on top of shaving, which means he’ll have that middle aged man recession going on.

I feel really awful, and just can’t believe how things have changed so suddenly. We’re still in our 20s, what’s happened? He used to give me butterflies, now I feel sick when I look at him. He touches me and I feel repulsed and want to move away from him. This is making me so sad because I want to stay in love with my boyfriend, I love him deeply, but I’m worried I won’t be able to move past this repulsion.

Before people say… I guarantee he is NOT depressed. He has had a perfect life and is very happy, happy-go-lucky, very satisfied with everything. He has no neurodivergence or learning difficulties etc etc etc. He is just a slob.

I need advice… how can I ask my boyfriend to work on his appearance? How can I breach this topic GENTLY and sympathetically without hurting his feelings?

I accept him for who he is, but I need to be honest about how this is making me feel, otherwise it’ll get worse and I won’t be able to move past it at all…

EDIT:

Thank you to everyone who’s taken the time to read & reply to my post… I’ve read every comment and truly appreciate all the advice.

I was not aware of ascites / cirrhosis, so this has been extremely enlightening. His symptoms do look extremely similar to ascites, so I will absolutely be confronting him with this. He MUST see a doctor.

The overwhelming advice is “leave” and understandably so. The reason I haven’t is because, in every other way, he’s my perfect match and best friend. He deeply cares for and looks after me. We have everything in common. We laugh together like nothing else. This is why this hurts so deeply. I feel like I’m losing my soulmate.

The harshest truth is me having to look at myself. By being gentle and not expressing my boundaries, I have enabled him for nearly a decade. Before, I didn’t think that were possible because everyone should be responsible for their own lives… but I see now that my silence & inaction has communicated to him that it’s okay to be a slob. I’ve betrayed myself by trying to not “rock the boat”. I am extremely conflict-avoidant and scared to hurt feelings due to a traumatic childhood witnessing violence in the home. I’ve seen how confrontation can lead to people becoming the worst versions of themselves and acting in terrifying & unforgivable ways…

I needed advice on HOW to begin this conversation with him, because I suck at conflict. There has been some very thoughtful advice in this comment section. Thank you for helping.

If he doesn’t change, I need to do what’s right for me.

She Didn’t Want To Hurt Him

At first, the woman kept her feelings to herself because she didn’t want to hurt her boyfriend. She hoped the discomfort would fade with time, but instead, it seemed to grow stronger with each passing week.

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She described her boyfriend as a caring, dependable person who always treated her with respect. He supported her through difficult moments and never gave her a reason to question his loyalty, making her emotions even more confusing.

According to her, the problem wasn’t caused by a major argument or betrayal. Instead, she simply felt that the romantic spark had disappeared, leaving her uncertain about the future of the relationship.

Unable to make sense of her emotions, she wrote a detailed post online asking strangers for advice. She wanted honest opinions from people who weren’t emotionally involved in her situation.

Many commenters suggested that attraction naturally changes over time. They explained that relationships often move beyond the excitement of the early stages and become based on trust, companionship, and shared experiences.

Others asked whether stress, anxiety, or personal issues could be influencing her feelings. They encouraged her to reflect on her own emotional state before assuming the relationship was the problem.

Some people believed she should have an open conversation with her boyfriend instead of quietly pulling away. They argued that honest communication could reveal problems that both partners were capable of solving together.

Not everyone agreed, however. A number of commenters felt that if she consistently felt repulsed rather than simply less attracted, it might be unfair to continue the relationship without addressing those feelings.

Reading the responses forced the woman to examine her emotions more carefully. She realized that she had been focusing only on what she was feeling instead of considering how her silence might affect her boyfriend.

She admitted that her boyfriend deserved honesty rather than confusion. Keeping her doubts hidden would only make things more painful if the relationship eventually ended.

The online discussion also reminded her that no relationship remains perfect forever. Every couple faces periods where affection and attraction fluctuate, requiring patience and effort from both people.

After taking time to reflect, she decided not to make an impulsive decision. Instead, she planned to speak openly with her boyfriend about how she had been feeling.

She hoped that an honest conversation would either help them reconnect or make it clear that they were no longer compatible. Either outcome, she believed, would be better than continuing in uncertainty.

Many readers praised her willingness to seek advice before acting. They believed taking time to reflect showed maturity, even if the answers she received weren’t always easy to hear.

In the end, the experience taught her that lasting relationships depend on more than physical attraction alone. Whether the couple stayed together or chose separate paths, she understood that honesty, respect, and clear communication were the only way forward.