Mom Gets Even With Daughter-In-Law Who Keeps Purposely Forgetting Her Tea Order When Picking Up Coffee
For months, Margaret had noticed the same irritating pattern whenever her daughter-in-law, Jessica, stopped by the house after picking up coffee. Jessica would happily bring coffee for herself and Margaret’s son, Daniel, but somehow Margaret’s tea order was always “forgotten.” At first, Margaret assumed it was an innocent mistake. She knew Jessica was often busy, and she did not want to create unnecessary tension over something as small as a cup of tea. Whenever Jessica apologized, Margaret simply smiled and said it was fine. She would make herself a cup at home and move on. But the same thing kept happening again and again. Margaret would text her order before Jessica left for the coffee shop, sometimes even reminding her right before she walked out the door. Jessica would respond cheerfully, promising that she had remembered. Yet when she returned, there would be two coffees in the carrier and nothing for Margaret. What made it worse was that Jessica never seemed genuinely surprised. She would simply shrug, laugh, and say something like, “Oh, I totally forgot yours again.” After several months of this happening, Margaret began to suspect that the forgetting was not accidental at all.
One Saturday morning, Margaret decided to test her suspicion. Jessica had offered to pick up drinks for everyone while she was out running errands. Before Jessica left, Margaret calmly told her exactly what she wanted: a simple hot tea with a little milk and no sugar. Jessica repeated the order back to her and said, “Got it.” Margaret thanked her and went back to preparing breakfast. About twenty minutes later, Jessica returned carrying a tray. Daniel immediately reached for his coffee, while Jessica placed another drink on the table for herself. Margaret looked at the tray and realized, once again, that her tea was missing. This time, however, Jessica did not even pretend to be shocked. “Oh, sorry, Margaret,” she said casually. “I guess I forgot again.” Margaret simply nodded. Instead of becoming angry, she smiled and said, “No problem. I think I finally understand.” Jessica looked slightly confused, but Margaret did not explain. Later that afternoon, Margaret made a decision. She was not going to argue, complain, or accuse Jessica of intentionally leaving her out. Instead, she was going to let Jessica experience what it felt like when someone conveniently “forgot” something important. Margaret knew that a small lesson could sometimes be more effective than a long argument.
The opportunity came a few days later when Jessica hosted a family dinner at her house. She had spent the entire afternoon preparing a special meal and had repeatedly reminded everyone that dessert would be served after dinner. Jessica had a particular favorite dessert from a bakery across town, and she asked Margaret if she could pick it up on her way over. Margaret agreed immediately. She even wrote the bakery name and dessert details on a piece of paper so there would be no confusion. When Margaret arrived at Jessica’s house, she was carrying several bags, but the dessert was nowhere among them. Jessica looked at her in disbelief. “Margaret, where is the dessert?” she asked. Margaret looked genuinely confused and replied, “Oh, I forgot it.” Jessica stared at her. “You forgot? I reminded you twice!” Margaret calmly nodded. “I know. I’m sorry. I guess I just forgot again.” The room suddenly became quiet. Daniel looked from his wife to his mother, clearly realizing what had happened. Margaret did not laugh or make a dramatic scene. She simply sat down and began talking to the other guests. Jessica, however, could not let it go. She complained that Margaret had ruined the evening and that forgetting something after promising to bring it was disrespectful. Margaret finally looked at her and said, “You’re right. It is frustrating when someone repeatedly promises to remember something and then conveniently forgets it. Now you know exactly how I’ve felt every time you came home with coffee for everyone except me.”
Jessica became silent. She clearly understood the message. Margaret explained that she had never cared about the price of a cup of tea. What hurt was the feeling of being deliberately excluded. If Jessica had genuinely forgotten once or twice, Margaret would have understood. But after months of repeated incidents, especially when Jessica remembered everyone else’s drinks, it had started to feel intentional. Margaret told her that she had chosen not to confront her because she did not want a small issue to become a family conflict. Instead, she had decided to show Jessica how the situation looked from the other side. Daniel also admitted that he had noticed his mother being left without a drink several times but had assumed it was accidental. Jessica eventually apologized and confessed that she had sometimes intentionally skipped Margaret’s tea because she believed Margaret was “too particular” about her order. She insisted that she had never meant to hurt her feelings, but Margaret told her that intentions did not erase the repeated behavior. Jessica apologized again and promised that from then on, if she was picking up drinks for the family, she would make sure Margaret received hers too. Margaret accepted the apology, but she also made it clear that respect had to work both ways.
After that evening, the situation changed completely. The next time Jessica went to the coffee shop, she returned with Margaret’s tea exactly as requested. She even placed it in front of Margaret with a smile and said, “I remembered this time.” Margaret smiled back and thanked her. There was no need for another argument or dramatic confrontation. The simple exchange had finally made Jessica understand what Margaret had been trying to communicate for months. Margaret later admitted that she probably could have handled the situation differently, but she was glad she had chosen a harmless lesson instead of allowing resentment to build. She also realized that family relationships sometimes become difficult when people ignore small acts of disrespect because they are afraid of causing conflict. For Margaret, the tea had never really been about tea. It was about being considered, included, and treated with the same thoughtfulness that everyone else received. Once Jessica understood that, their relationship slowly became more comfortable. And from that day forward, whenever Jessica picked up coffee for the family, Margaret’s tea was always the first thing she checked for. Sometimes, Margaret joked, “I guess you finally remembered me.” Jessica would laugh and say, “Trust me, I learned my lesson.” And Margaret knew that, at least this time, the lesson had worked.
Read Story…
“AITA for not getting my DIL coffee becuase she hates tea?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“This feels really stupid, and I need to know if I am the problem here or not.”
“My son seems to think I am the problem.”
“My D[aughter]-I[n]-L[aw] loves coffee.”
“She is the type of person who will go get coffee every morning.”
“It is not uncommon that if she goes out to get coffee, she will pick up coffee for other people as well.”
“The issue is she will never get me a tea or any tea lattes.”
“As she puts it, it is leaf water that she doesn’t want to waste her money on.”
“I am asking her to get a 5-dollar thing of tea if she is already picking up everyone 8 dollars fancy coffees.”
“I am asking for a tea latte or an iced tea that I literally can’t make at the time.”
“So she comes back with everyone’s drink but mine.”
“It is really frustrating on trips because I will be driving most of the time.”
“She takes everyone’s orders and goes in while I am either getting gas or snacks for the trip to come back without any caffeine.”
“Then I have to go into the shop to get my drink.”
“There have been so many times she asked in the chat, if anyone wants something at Starbucks; I tell her what I want, and then she comes back with everyone’s drink but mine.”
“Talking to her doesn’t help.”
“She just claims I can make it at home.”
“To the issue, I was going over to babysit the grandkids for my son and daughter (so four adults).”
“I sent a text saying I was stopping at Starbucks and asked if they wanted anything.”
“This is the exact same thing she does.”
“They gave me their orders, and I decided that I wouldn’t get my DIL her drink to make a point, basically.”
“I got to where everyone was and gave everyone their drink besides my DIL.”
“She was pissed, and I pointed out this is the same thing she does with me all the time.”
“She told me it wasn’t the same and I can make tea at home.”
“I told her to make her coffee at home, because the pot is right there.”
“We got into a fight, and my son told me to apologize and get her drink.”
“I told him no, and I am tired of this.”
“I have spoken to them multiple times, and if she doesn’t change what she does, I will never get her drink when I get drinks for others.”
“They left, but after babysitting, I am still hearing about it.”
“I need your opinion.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO – More Information Needed
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, if she’s asking for orders and getting everyone but yours, that’s incredibly rude.”
“You simply matched her actions.”
“I’m guessing there are other issues at play too, but solely for this, NTA.” ~ Jerseygirl2468
“I actually think there’s a chance this could be about the coffee.”
“DIL could be one of those insufferable people who make one thing a significant part of their personality, and just refuses to buy tea because of some weird superiority complex.” ~ thatssjtoyou
“If someone doesn’t like to be treated the same way they treat you, you can always be confident you are NTA.” ~ Affectionate-Tie3250
“NTA – how old is your DIL?”
“It sounds like she’s just outright disrespecting you for no apparent reason (from what is available in the post).”
“I’m surprised your child hasn’t said something to their spouse about how weird this is.” ~ Positronomy
“They are horrid people.”
“This is atrocious behavior.”
“She is dictating her favors to people (not how favors work, by the way – or else they’re just manipulation tactics) and you need to as well.”
“If this doesn’t wake your son up to her nasty behavior, then he sucks too.”
“Start dictating your favors!!!”
“They need babysitting more than her attitude.”
“Tell them you’ll babysit – for a fee of tea.”
“No tea – no babysitting.”
“When they call out how absolutely ridiculous that is – agree that it is and tell them you are tired of it from there ends.” ~ Euphoric-Effective30
“NTA – And it always disgusts me when I hear about a family like this, when one person is allowed to behave like a colossal a**hole (your DiL), insult your drink order, exclude you from the whole thing, and everyone rushes around to take their side when someone stands up to them.”
“I wouldn’t bring any of them drinks, and I wouldn’t babysit either.” ~ MercuryJellyfish
“NTA. But you can be right, or you can be happy, so I would stop offering any drinks or expecting any.”
“Also, I love coffee, but I think it’s foul scorn that a coffee drinker could characterize tea as ‘leaf water’ when coffee is ‘bean water.'”
“Don’t yuck someone’s yum.” ~ DantesStudentLoans
“NTA. Who raised her?”
“Just because she doesn’t like your drink order, she won’t get you a tea?”
“She needs to learn some manners and stop being a petulant child.”
“Well, she and your son, I’m sorry to say.”
“You’re doing the driving, you’re doing the babysitting, and probably a kindness here and there that they can’t reciprocate.”
“You deserve better, and I hope your son doesn’t continue treating you this way.” ~ Sea-Collection-7367
“The fact that your son is backing up his wife’s AH behavior is concerning.”
“Brava on the Starbucks move.”
“You were only returning her energy.”
“Going forward, continue that behavior.”
“If you’re the one driving, refuse to move until you get your drink.”
“NTA, but your passive-aggressive bully DIL is.” ~ No-Today-3064
“NTA – such double standards here, your DIL just doesn’t seem to get it, even when you rubbed the answer in her face.”
“It’s not whether or not tea is worth the damn money or not, it’s about OP being excluded every single time.”
“Now that OP did it to her, suddenly DIL has the right to be pissed, but OP doesn’t?”
“Does not compute.” ~ Zagriel55
“NTA. The fact that your son has not said anything about this before really makes them both AHs.”
“You are an adult, and you want a Tea.”
“She has this prejudice against tea and this control matter in her head that her view is the only view.”
“Absolutely, you can make coffee AND teas at home.”
“Guess what, you can make food at home too, but for some reason there are SOOO many restaurants selling meals!!!”
“You know why.”
“Some people like it.”
“Her saying your desires are not worthy when they are clearly reasonable makes her a piece of… BUT no-one standing up for you before is very SAD!!!” ~ catskilkid
“Coffee and tea are basically the same thing – plant parts brewed in (usually) hot water.”
“How she doesn’t understand that is astounding.”
“NTA.”
If I were you, I would start ordering coffee and just not drink it.”
“Then she’d really be wasting her money.” ~ Open_Bug_4251
“Your daughter-in-law does not like you.”
“It is not about tea or coffee.”
“She is rude, and your son allows it.”
“Did he ever once demand SHE apologize to you for not getting your tea?”
“I see she still takes advantage of you by having you babysit when she wants to go out.”
“So she sees a use for you.”
“NTA. But your son and DIL are major ones.” ~ Ok-Cap-204
“NTA, but I would have said, I will go get her drink and then just gone home without babysitting.”
“Then tell your son that you will not babysit until they treat you with more respect.” ~ Free_Science_1091
“If your son and DIL see this response: that’s a weak excuse for being a hypocrite.”
“You need therapy if you think that treating your MIL like crap consistently over a drink is a good way to ‘stand your ground.'”
“To the son – really?”
“Support your spouse for being a bully!?”
“NTA to OP.” ~ MauiValleyGirl
OP returned to chat…
“Ok- well I got my answer.”
“I am going to send this to my son and tell him we need to talk ASAP.”
“My son got back to me and told me we will talk in a bit.”
“Well I just got off the phone with my DIL and son.”
“Yes, they have seen this post; I sent it to them.”
“My DIL apologized, and this issue has nothing to do with me.”
“I thought she just hated me, but this has to do with her own mother.”
“They have a bad relationship, and when they married they didn’t wish for that type of relationship to happen again with me.”
“It also didn’t help that her sister has a horrible M[other]-I[n]-L[aw], so she thought she needed to be distant and cold off the start.”
“So yes, she was being rude on purpose. “
“This post kinda opened her eyes about how she was acting as her mother acts.”
“My son also apologized and realized he went too far in the direction of supporting your spouse.”
“He admits he did the easy thing because we don’t live together.”
“I informed them I won’t put up with being disrespected anymore and hopefully nothing backtracks.”
“We seem good now, but I have a feeling more talks will happen.”
“Anyways, thank you, Reddit.”
“This was helpful.”
It’s always great to hear about a positive ending.
Reddit came through for you, OP.
Hopefully, there doesn’t need to be more chats.
But you deserve respect.
Don’t be afraid to demand it.
Margaret Notices Her Tea Is Always the One Jessica “Forgets”
Margaret had always tried to maintain a warm and respectful relationship with her son’s wife, Jessica. From the beginning of their marriage, Margaret made an effort to welcome Jessica into the family and never wanted her to feel like an outsider. She understood that relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law could sometimes become complicated, so she deliberately avoided interfering in her son Daniel’s marriage. She gave the couple their privacy, respected their decisions, and tried to treat Jessica like another member of the family. For that reason, Margaret was initially confused by a small habit that gradually became impossible to ignore. Whenever Jessica stopped at a coffee shop on her way to visit the family, she would ask everyone what they wanted. Daniel would order coffee, Jessica would order her usual drink, and Margaret would politely request a simple cup of tea with milk. Yet somehow, Margaret’s tea was always the order that disappeared. At first, Margaret assumed Jessica had genuinely forgotten. She never complained and simply made tea for herself at home.
The first few times it happened, Margaret honestly did not think much of it. Jessica was usually busy, and Margaret knew that people could easily forget a small request when they were juggling several orders. Sometimes Jessica would arrive carrying two coffees and immediately apologize after realizing Margaret had been left without a drink. “I’m so sorry, I forgot your tea again,” she would say. Margaret would smile and tell her not to worry. She did not want Daniel to think she was creating unnecessary tension over something as insignificant as a beverage. However, the incidents became more frequent. Margaret began noticing that Jessica never seemed to forget anyone else’s order. Daniel’s coffee was always there. Jessica’s drink was always there. If another family member happened to be visiting, their drink was usually there too. Somehow, Margaret’s tea was the only thing that repeatedly vanished from the list. Still, Margaret kept giving Jessica the benefit of the doubt because she believed accusing her without proof would only make the family relationship worse.
Eventually, Margaret started wondering whether the repeated mistakes were actually intentional. She noticed that Jessica remembered very specific details about everyone else’s preferences. She knew exactly how Daniel liked his coffee, which syrup he preferred, and even which size cup he wanted. Jessica could remember a complicated order from a coffee shop without difficulty, yet somehow she could never remember Margaret’s extremely simple tea order. Margaret also noticed Jessica’s reactions whenever she mentioned the forgotten tea. Instead of looking genuinely embarrassed, Jessica sometimes smiled awkwardly or changed the subject. On one occasion, Margaret gently reminded her that she had sent her the order by text before Jessica left. Jessica laughed and said, “Well, I guess your tea just doesn’t stick in my brain.” Margaret laughed along, but privately she felt hurt. She began to wonder if Jessica was trying to send her a message without saying it directly. Perhaps she disliked being asked to bring Margaret anything. Perhaps she simply wanted Margaret to know that she did not consider her important enough to remember.
One Saturday, Margaret decided to find out whether her suspicion was correct. Jessica was visiting the family and offered to pick up drinks while she was out running errands. Before she left, Margaret gave her order very clearly. “Just a hot tea with a little milk, please,” she said. Jessica repeated it back to her and promised she would remember. Margaret thanked her and did not say anything else. When Jessica returned twenty minutes later, she carried a drink for herself and a coffee for Daniel. Margaret immediately noticed that there was no tea. Jessica looked at the bags and then said casually, “Oh, I forgot yours again.” Margaret looked at her for a few seconds before smiling. Instead of complaining, she simply said, “That’s okay.” Jessica seemed relieved that there was no argument. But Margaret had made up her mind. She no longer believed these incidents were innocent mistakes. If Jessica was intentionally leaving her out, Margaret was not going to beg for consideration. She decided that the best response would not be anger or confrontation. Instead, she would let Jessica experience the same kind of “forgetting.”
A few days later, Jessica invited the family to her house for dinner. She was especially excited because she had prepared several dishes and had arranged a special dessert for everyone. During a conversation before dinner, Jessica mentioned that her favorite bakery dessert was difficult to find and asked Margaret if she could pick one up on her way to the house. Margaret agreed without hesitation. Jessica gave her the bakery name, the exact dessert, and even reminded her twice before Margaret left. Margaret deliberately paid close attention to every detail. She wanted Jessica to know that she had heard the request. When Margaret arrived at the house later that evening, she carried several things for the dinner, but the dessert was missing. Jessica noticed almost immediately. “Where’s the dessert?” she asked. Margaret looked surprised and replied, “Oh, I forgot it.” Jessica stared at her in disbelief. “You forgot? I reminded you twice!” she exclaimed. Margaret calmly nodded. “I know. I guess it slipped my mind.” The expression on Jessica’s face changed instantly. She was clearly frustrated, and Margaret could see that she was experiencing exactly the kind of disappointment Margaret had felt so many times.
Jessica could not understand how Margaret could forget something she had specifically agreed to bring. She explained that the dessert was important to her because she had planned the evening around it. Margaret listened quietly before saying, “I’m sorry. I know how disappointing it is when someone promises to remember something and then doesn’t.” Jessica immediately recognized the tone. She looked at Margaret and realized that this was not really about dessert. Margaret had deliberately mirrored her behavior. Daniel, who had been listening to the conversation, suddenly understood what was happening. He remembered all the previous occasions when his mother had been left without tea. He looked at Jessica and asked whether she had actually been forgetting the tea by accident. Jessica initially denied doing anything intentionally, but after a few uncomfortable moments, she admitted that she sometimes deliberately skipped Margaret’s order. She said she felt that Margaret was too demanding about her tea and that leaving it out was her way of avoiding the extra trouble.
Margaret was hurt by the confession, but she remained calm. She told Jessica that she had never expected special treatment. She had simply wanted the same basic consideration that everyone else received. “If you didn’t want to bring my tea, you could have told me,” Margaret explained. “I would have understood. What hurt was pretending to forget it over and over again.” Jessica looked embarrassed. She had apparently convinced herself that the situation was too insignificant to matter. She had thought Margaret would simply make tea for herself and move on. What she had not considered was the message her repeated behavior was sending. Every time she remembered everyone else but Margaret, she was effectively telling Margaret that her request mattered less. Margaret explained that this was why she had decided to forget the dessert. She wanted Jessica to understand that small actions could carry bigger emotional meaning when they happened repeatedly.
Daniel eventually stepped into the conversation and admitted that he had noticed the tea situation before but had never paid enough attention to it. He apologized to his mother for assuming it was nothing important. He also told Jessica that if she was uncomfortable with something Margaret asked her to do, she should communicate honestly instead of intentionally excluding her. Jessica agreed. She apologized to Margaret and admitted that she had handled the situation immaturely. Margaret accepted the apology, but she did not pretend that the behavior had not hurt her. She told Jessica that she was willing to move forward, but trust could only improve if their actions changed. Jessica promised that she would stop deliberately leaving Margaret out and would communicate directly if something bothered her. The conversation was uncomfortable, but Margaret felt relieved afterward. For months, she had been silently wondering whether she was imagining the disrespect. Now she finally knew the truth.
The next time Jessica visited, something unexpected happened. Before arriving, she called Margaret and asked, “Do you want your usual tea?” Margaret smiled when she heard the question. She gave Jessica her order, and Jessica repeated it carefully. When she arrived, she handed Margaret the tea before sitting down. “I remembered,” she said with a small laugh. Margaret thanked her and accepted the drink. It was a simple gesture, but it felt different because Jessica was now making a conscious effort. Margaret did not bring up the old incidents again. She believed that constantly reminding someone of their mistakes would only make it harder for both people to move forward. Instead, she focused on whether Jessica’s behavior actually changed.
Over the following weeks, Jessica became noticeably more considerate. If she was going to a coffee shop, she asked Margaret what she wanted without being reminded. If she could not stop for tea, she told Margaret beforehand. Sometimes she even brought Margaret a different tea she thought she might enjoy. Margaret appreciated the effort, but more importantly, she appreciated the honesty. Their relationship did not suddenly become perfect, but the tension between them slowly disappeared. Jessica also began to understand that Margaret had never been trying to control her or demand special treatment. Margaret simply wanted to feel included in the family. Once Jessica realized that, many of the small misunderstandings between them became easier to resolve.
Margaret later reflected on the entire situation and admitted that she might have handled things differently. She could have confronted Jessica much earlier instead of silently tolerating the behavior. However, she also believed that her response had made an important point. She had not screamed, insulted Jessica, or tried to embarrass her in front of the family. She had simply given her a harmless example of what repeated forgetfulness felt like. Sometimes people do not understand the impact of their behavior until they experience it themselves. In Margaret’s case, the forgotten dessert finally made Jessica realize that the forgotten tea had never been as insignificant as she thought.
The incident also changed Margaret’s approach to family relationships. She realized that keeping peace did not always mean remaining silent. There was a difference between being patient and allowing someone to repeatedly disrespect you. Margaret still believed in giving people the benefit of the doubt, but she also learned that boundaries were important. If something bothered her, she could communicate it without creating unnecessary drama. She did not need to tolerate repeated behavior simply because she was afraid of upsetting someone. At the same time, she learned that revenge did not have to be cruel. Sometimes a small lesson could open a conversation that people had been avoiding for months.
Jessica, for her part, seemed genuinely grateful that Margaret had chosen to address the issue rather than allowing resentment to destroy their relationship. She later told Margaret that she had not realized how obvious her behavior had become. She admitted that she had convinced herself that forgetting a cup of tea was too small to matter. But after experiencing the disappointment of arriving at her own dinner without the dessert she had been looking forward to, she finally understood. The problem was never the tea itself. It was the repeated feeling of being overlooked. Margaret accepted her apology and told her that everyone makes mistakes, but repeated mistakes become choices when someone refuses to correct them.
In the end, Margaret did not consider herself the winner of some great family battle. She simply felt relieved that an uncomfortable issue had finally been brought into the open. Her relationship with Jessica became more respectful because both women learned something from the experience. Margaret learned to speak up when she felt disrespected, while Jessica learned that small acts of consideration could have a much larger emotional impact than she realized. From that point forward, whenever Jessica picked up coffee for the family, Margaret’s tea was never forgotten. Sometimes Jessica would even place it in front of Margaret and jokingly say, “This one is definitely not forgotten.” Margaret would smile and reply, “Good. Because now you know how important one little cup can be.” What began as a frustrating pattern of forgotten tea ultimately became a lesson about respect, communication, and the importance of treating family members with consideration.
