Twenty-eight-year-old Emma had always enjoyed playful teasing in relationships, especially when both people understood the difference between a joke and an insult. When she started dating her boyfriend, Alex, she initially loved his sarcastic personality. He was funny, quick-witted, and constantly found ways to make her laugh. One of his biggest interests was Game of Thrones, a show he had watched multiple times and could quote almost perfectly. At first, Emma thought it was amusing when he used lines from the show during their conversations. He would jokingly compare minor disagreements to battles between rival families or send her dramatic quotes when she was complaining about something silly. Emma laughed along because she assumed it was simply part of his personality. However, over time, Alex’s jokes became more personal. Instead of using quotes randomly, he started choosing lines that were clearly intended to make Emma feel bad. If she made a mistake, he would respond with a quote about stupidity. If she disagreed with him, he would send something mocking her intelligence. When she told him that certain comments hurt her feelings, he would laugh and claim that she was taking the joke too seriously.

As their relationship continued, the Game of Thrones quotes became a regular part of their arguments. Alex seemed to enjoy finding dramatic lines that could be interpreted as insults. If Emma was upset because he had forgotten an important plan, he would respond with a sarcastic quote instead of apologizing. If she asked him to communicate more respectfully, he would send another quote and tell her that she needed to “learn to take a joke.” Emma tried several times to explain that she was not against teasing. She simply wanted him to stop using fictional characters as a way to insult her. Alex insisted that she was being overly sensitive and said that everyone who knew him understood his sense of humor. Emma began noticing that the jokes almost always went in one direction. Alex was allowed to tease her, but whenever she teased him back, he became defensive. She eventually realized that what he called humor was becoming a convenient way to avoid accountability whenever she was genuinely hurt.

The breaking point happened during a disagreement about their future. Emma had been trying to have a serious conversation about their relationship because she felt that Alex was becoming less attentive and more dismissive. Instead of listening, Alex responded with another Game of Thrones quote that mocked her concerns. Emma stared at her phone for several minutes before realizing that she no longer wanted to argue. She had already explained herself many times, and nothing had changed. She decided that she would stop rewarding his behavior with long explanations. When Alex sent another sarcastic message later that night, Emma did not respond. At first, he assumed she was simply busy. He sent another message, followed by another joke. Emma still said nothing. The next morning, he asked why she was ignoring him. She replied briefly that she was tired of being insulted and then expected to laugh about it. Alex responded by saying she was proving his point by being unable to handle humor. Instead of defending herself, Emma stopped answering altogether.

Advertisement

For the next several days, Alex continued trying to get a reaction from her. He sent memes, quotes, jokes, and messages asking whether she was angry. Emma read some of them but refused to engage. She realized that every previous argument had followed the same pattern: Alex would say something hurtful, Emma would explain why it bothered her, Alex would call her sensitive, and eventually she would end up apologizing for being upset. By refusing to participate in that cycle, she finally felt a sense of peace. She also began talking with close friends who had noticed the change in her personality since the relationship became more tense. They reminded her that a partner who genuinely cared about her feelings would not repeatedly use the same joke after being told it was hurtful. Emma began questioning whether she wanted to continue a relationship where she constantly had to defend her right to be treated respectfully.

Eventually, Alex asked to meet in person. He admitted that he had taken the jokes too far and said he had never expected Emma to stop responding completely. He claimed that he had only been trying to make their relationship fun and did not realize how much his comments were affecting her. Emma told him that the problem was not the television show or the quotes. She actually enjoyed the show herself. The problem was that Alex had turned something he loved into a tool for humiliating her whenever he was annoyed, challenged, or unwilling to admit he was wrong. She explained that humor should make both people laugh, not leave one person feeling small. Alex apologized and promised to change, but Emma knew that an apology alone could not erase months of behavior. She decided to take some time away from the relationship and reconsider what she wanted. For her, stopping the replies had never been about playing games or trying to punish him. It was the first time she had chosen silence instead of endlessly explaining why disrespect hurt. Whether they eventually worked things out or went their separate ways, Emma had learned an important lesson: when someone repeatedly ignores a boundary, sometimes the healthiest response is to stop arguing and stop giving them access to your attention.

Read Story…

Me 23F dating 26M. He keeps making Game Of Thrones themed ‘negs’ towards me. Am I over reacting?

We are both GoT fans and I love to banter about it with *Paul, who I have been dating for 2 months. I really like him and he is super sweet. However his quotes are becoming really demeaning and feel like he is negging me. Am I over reacting?

When we were at a friends party Paul said towards a group of mainly a few of my friends, Pauls says about me (*Sarah) in front of them “We have our differences, Sarah and I. She is braver; I am better looking.”‘This was really embarrassing for me because I think some of them didn’t get the reference and now think the guy l’m dating doesn’t think l’m that good looking.

Another occasion we were making out, and Paul whispered in my ear in a silly voice “You have less honor than a back alley whore.

I got really angry because I didn’t recognise that it was a quote from GoT. I jumped up from the couch and he said “chill out it’s a game of thrones quote from such and such episode.” I told him that I was really upset and are leaving his house now and he just replied with “‘I’m Sansa Stark of Winterfell. This is my home and you can’t frighten me.”

That was it. lts like he had no remorse for what he had done and just thinks upsetting me is funny!

I haven’t answered his txts or calls since , it has been 2 days. Am I over reacting?

tl;dr: Me 23F dating 26M. He keeps making Game Of Thrones themed ‘negs’ towards me. Am I over reacting?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

Jillbowaggins

“I told him that I was really upset and are leaving his house now and he just replied with “I’m Sansa Stark of Winterfell. This is my home and you can’t frighten me.””

Joking references are one thing, but you don’t have to be the three-eyed raven to see that when your girlfriend is legitimately upset and about to leave your house, it’s time to knock it the fuck off and actually listen to her.

OOP

I agree. After I left he texted saying:

“Look love, it’s just my sense of humour. Do you really want to be with a guy who has no personality and watches sh*t tv shows.”

He then sent another txt today saying. “Much offended?”

Followed straight away by “Ok I’m sorry.”

I don’t even know what to think about these txts.

Jana999

Arya Stark would tell you this guy belongs on a list… of people too stupid to date. Sansa Stark agrees, and would like to know if you’d care to borrow a dog?

~

adequatelay

He sounds like he should wear a fedora tbh.

OOP

He owns a fedora but I’ve never seen him wear it. Luckily.

Cyonella

Oh come on! Haven’t we reached peak loser status yet?

Sometimes, we don’t know why someone is single. And other times, we know exactly why.

Update 1  Oct 3, 2017 (same day)

UPDATE

*A mate of *Pauls SAW THIS POST on the r/relationships homepage and has sent it to him.

It turns out I don’t no longer need to worry about if I over reacted because I have been dumped.

I might leave this up for a bit longer just to annoy him off now seeing as he has blocked me anyway.

He fb messaged me said:

“A friend has just linked me a post on reddits relationship advice page that you wrote about me. I get that you were upset by the joke that I made but you have handled this whole situation terribly. I am disgusted that I was dating someone who would ridicule me and let 3000 people bully me online.

Blocking you forever now. Sorry that I upset you with my jokes. Not sorry about your insecurities that you’re gonna have to live through. “

RELEVANT COMMENTS

invrz

That’s absolutely hilarious.

I wouldn’t even be mad anymore.  That guy has given you what’s likely to be the single funniest ex-boyfriend story you’ll ever get.

I think you won the breakup before it even happened.

iworkhard77777777777

Yes. Most of the time, awkward breaks ups take a few months to age into funny anecdotes. Not this one, though.

~

prisonlambshanks

your ex is a real walder frey

Update 2  Oct 3, 2017 (same day)

*** UPDATE #2 *** Paul has texted me now saying he will unblock me on fb and won’t block my number if I stop entertaining the post about him and remove it.

He says he does think we should still cool it off for a while, but can still keep in touch if we resolve this.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

[deleted]

Please just reply to everything he texts you with Game of Thrones quotes now

LuckyCelt

I love this! When he asks you to take it down say “not today”

Phobos75

“You know nothing, asshole Paul”

Final Update  Jan 9, 2018 (2 months later)

Copy of the update

I can’t post this as an ‘update’ because reddit locked the original post, I think maybe because of too many comments?

Anyway, a few people on here may remember the post that gained a lot of attention on this forum about the guy I was dating who made the Game of Thrones themed negs towards me. If you didn’t, here is the re cap, basically, I had been dating a guy called *Paul for two months, who would quote certain things from GoT at very inopportune times in such a way that he was negging me. He then sent me a few stupid txts which I didn’t reply to. The post garnered so much attention on Reddit, that someone who knew him, saw it, and sent it to him, and *Paul ended up dumping me because he saw that I posted about it, before I could dump him. He blocked me on everything and then unblocked me asking me to remove the post, to which I didn’t reply, left it up, and eventually reddit deleted it.

Fast forward one month later and I see Paul on tinder, and super like him as a joke. He matched me back, and actually messaged me saying something really funny about all that had happened. We joked in a good natured way about what went down which eventually led to us hashing things out, and we got back together, and not long after officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. The whole reddit post saga became a quirky story (one that we mostly keep to ourselves) and even a running joke between the two of us, and he defiantly lightened up to it. I think the experience of it maybe made him take himself a lot less seriously and learn to see the funny side of things… at better times.

No, Paul didn’t make any Game of Thrones jokes again.

He moved into my place at the beginning of Dec when his lease ran out and things were great, but only for a week. Initially, we split the costs of everything evenly. However Paul majorly upped his coffee habits due to an increased work load trying to make sales. But he even started drinking as much on the weekend, 90% of the time around the apartment he always had a cup of tea or coffee in his hand.

It never made him jittery or anything, but it did make him stay up a couple of hours later each night which was very disruptive to our normal nighttime routine.

Also it wasn’t cheap coffee he was drinking + he would also get 2 takeaway coffees everyday (or so he claimed), as well as him buying lunch at work every week day. He has apparently had no money to contribute to groceries for the past month, yet he is buying to takeaway coffees and lunch at work every weekday, as well as a relatively expensive type of coffee to be drinking at home. But he said that if we are in this for the long term I needed to understand that his job is stressful at this time of year. And so I felt too bad to ask him to stop buying his pleasures at work around this time of year so paid for all of our groceries myself.

However the worst part of the problem came when we went to my family house for Christmas. He bought his own stupid brand of coffee with him to use (we were only there for two days). And so it was really awkward when we all had coffee/cocoa and he would decline my familys offer of coffee and insisted on making his own seperate one. We got into a huge fight later over this and I told him he was being uptight and rude and he told me I was looking for issues in him and that no one is perfect.

On Saturday afternoon he broke up with me. He told me that he started to emotionally shut down after the fight we had at Christmas and he wanted to end things, and that we don’t realistically have enough things in common. He was able to move out that day because he doesn’t have that many belongings and we only kept a couple of pieces of his furniture when he moved in.

I’m completley heartbroken and haven’t gone to work yet, and I feel taken advantage of. I don’t understand how someone could change their opinion of me so drastically after one little fight. Obviously it’s over, I know it is. But it doesn’t make it hurt less and it just seems so out of the blue.

tl;dr: We got back together, but of course threw it back in my face.

Emma Initially Loved His Playful Sense of Humor

Twenty-eight-year-old Emma had always enjoyed playful teasing in relationships. She believed couples should be able to laugh together, make silly jokes, and occasionally tease each other without taking everything personally. When she first met Alex, his sarcastic personality was one of the things she found attractive. He was confident, quick-witted, and always seemed to have a funny response ready. He was also obsessed with Game of Thrones and could remember countless lines from the series. In the beginning, Emma found his references entertaining. He would send her dramatic quotes when she complained about something minor or compare everyday situations to battles between fictional kingdoms. She laughed because she assumed it was simply his strange sense of humor.

Advertisement

At first, Alex’s jokes were harmless. If Emma forgot something at the grocery store, he might send a dramatic quote about failure. If she complained about being tired, he would respond with an exaggerated reference from the show. Emma sometimes teased him back about his obsession with fictional kings and queens. Their conversations felt playful, and she never thought there was anything wrong with his sense of humor.

The problem began when Alex started using the quotes during serious conversations. Whenever Emma tried to discuss something that genuinely bothered her, he would respond with a sarcastic line from the show. If she told him she was disappointed that he had forgotten an important plan, he would send a quote mocking her expectations. If she asked him to communicate more clearly, he would respond with another joke. Instead of addressing the issue, he used humor to make Emma feel foolish for bringing it up.

Emma initially tried to ignore it. She told herself that Alex probably did not realize how his behavior was coming across. She also did not want to become the girlfriend who complained about every joke. Whenever he sent a particularly rude quote, she would simply change the subject. But the pattern continued.

Eventually, Emma sat down with Alex and explained that some of his jokes were hurting her feelings. She told him that she did not mind teasing, but there was a difference between playful humor and repeatedly insulting someone. Alex laughed and told her that she was being too sensitive. He said that anyone who knew him understood that he joked about everything.

Emma tried to explain that she was not asking him to change his entire personality. She simply wanted him to stop using certain comments when she was trying to have a serious conversation. Alex promised that he would try, but he did not seem particularly concerned. For a few days, he toned down the jokes, and Emma thought perhaps he had finally understood.

Advertisement

Unfortunately, the change did not last. A week later, Emma mentioned that she was frustrated because Alex had canceled plans with her at the last minute. Instead of apologizing, he responded with another Game of Thrones quote mocking her disappointment. Emma stared at her phone and realized that he was not even attempting to understand her perspective.

The more she thought about it, the more she noticed how often this happened. Alex rarely apologized when his jokes crossed a line. Instead, he would accuse Emma of lacking a sense of humor. If she became upset, he would say that she was proving how sensitive she was. Somehow, every conversation about his behavior ended with Emma defending herself.

Emma also noticed that the jokes were rarely directed at Alex. He could laugh at himself when he made an obvious mistake, but when Emma teased him, he sometimes became defensive. This made her realize that the humor was not really mutual. He enjoyed being the person making the jokes, but he did not enjoy being on the receiving end.

One evening, Emma decided to test whether Alex understood what she had been telling him. They were discussing plans for an upcoming weekend when Alex suddenly made another insulting reference. Emma calmly told him that she had already asked him several times to stop doing that. Alex responded with another sarcastic quote.

That was the moment something changed inside Emma. She no longer felt angry. She simply felt tired.

She realized that she had spent too much energy trying to convince someone to treat her feelings seriously. She had explained the problem clearly, and Alex had heard her. He simply did not believe he needed to change.

Later that night, Alex sent her another message containing a joke from the show. Emma looked at it for a moment and decided not to respond. She put her phone down and went to bed.

The next morning, Alex sent another message asking why she had ignored him. Emma still did not respond. A few hours later, another message arrived. Then another. Alex started sending memes and asking whether she was angry.

Emma eventually replied with a short message explaining that she was tired of being insulted and then being expected to laugh about it. She told him that she did not want to argue anymore. Alex immediately accused her of being dramatic.

Instead of defending herself, Emma stopped responding again.

For the first time, she noticed how peaceful her day felt without the constant back-and-forth. She did not have to explain why something hurt her. She did not have to wait for another sarcastic response. She did not have to wonder whether the next message would contain another insult disguised as humor.

Alex, however, seemed increasingly frustrated by the silence. He sent more messages asking what was happening. He called her several times. When Emma did not answer, he eventually accused her of giving him the silent treatment.

Emma knew there was a difference between intentionally ignoring someone to manipulate them and stepping away from a conversation because it had become unhealthy. She was not trying to make Alex panic. She simply did not want to continue participating in the same argument.

During this time, Emma spoke with two close friends about the situation. They told her that they had noticed a change in her since she started dating Alex. She had become more cautious about what she said because she was constantly worried that he would turn her words into another joke.

That realization bothered Emma more than the insults themselves. She had always been comfortable expressing herself. Now she was starting to censor herself to avoid becoming the target of Alex’s humor.

A few days later, Alex asked Emma to meet in person. He said he wanted to talk seriously and promised that he would not make jokes. Emma agreed because she wanted to hear what he had to say.

During the conversation, Alex admitted that he had gone too far. He said he had always used humor to deal with uncomfortable situations and had not realized how hurtful it had become. He apologized and said he did not want to lose her.

Emma listened carefully. She told him that she actually liked his sense of humor when it was respectful. The problem was not Game of Thrones. The problem was that he had repeatedly used jokes to dismiss her feelings.

She explained that there was nothing wrong with teasing someone when both people were laughing. But if one person repeatedly says, “That hurts me,” continuing to do it is no longer harmless teasing. At that point, it becomes a choice.

Alex promised that things would be different. He said he would stop using insults disguised as jokes and would listen when Emma told him something bothered her.

Emma appreciated the apology, but she did not immediately return to the relationship as if nothing had happened. She told him that trust would have to be rebuilt through actions rather than promises.

For Emma, the biggest lesson was that she did not need to win an argument to prove she deserved respect. She did not need to find the perfect response to every insult. She simply needed to recognize when a conversation was no longer productive and step away.

Whether Emma and Alex eventually repaired their relationship remained uncertain. What mattered most to Emma was that she had finally stopped accepting behavior that made her feel small. She realized that humor should bring two people closer, not become a weapon used by one person against the other.

In the end, Alex’s endless Game of Thrones quotes had taught Emma something he probably never intended to teach her. She learned that a relationship cannot be healthy when one person’s “jokes” consistently come at the expense of the other’s dignity. Sometimes the strongest response is not another clever comeback. Sometimes it is simply putting the phone down, refusing to argue, and choosing peace over another pointless conversation.