I never thought something as simple as arranging childcare would turn into an uncomfortable situation with another mother, but here I am. I am a parent, and like most working parents, finding someone reliable to look after my children has never been easy. After trying several different babysitters over the years, I finally found someone who genuinely understands my children’s needs, follows our household rules, and makes me feel comfortable leaving them in her care. Finding someone like that took time, patience, and quite a bit of trial and error. I pay her fairly, respect her schedule, and make sure she has everything she needs when she comes to our house. To me, she is an important part of our childcare routine, and I don’t take her reliability for granted.

My babysitter has been working with our family for quite some time now. She knows my children’s personalities, their routines, their favorite activities, and even the little things that can upset them. She knows what foods they like, what their bedtime routine looks like, and how to handle situations when they become difficult. I trust her because she has consistently shown that she is responsible and dependable. Whenever I need childcare for work, appointments, or personal commitments, I can contact her and usually arrange something in advance. Of course, she has her own life and schedule, so I never assume she is available whenever I want. I always ask first, give her as much notice as possible, and respect it when she cannot work.

A few months ago, I became friendly with another mother through our children’s school and some local activities. Let’s call her Sarah. Our children get along well, and we occasionally chat while waiting for school pickup or attending events. We have also exchanged parenting advice and talked about the usual challenges of raising children. Initially, I thought she was a nice person, and I had no problem developing a friendly relationship with her. She eventually learned that I had a regular babysitter after I mentioned how difficult it had been to find reliable childcare. I told her that I had been lucky to find someone who worked well with my family, and she immediately became interested in getting the sitter’s contact information.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. Sarah explained that she occasionally struggled to find childcare whenever she had work commitments or needed to attend appointments. She asked whether my babysitter ever accepted additional families, and I told her that I wasn’t entirely sure because I had never asked. I explained that she generally worked with us according to an agreed schedule, but she might occasionally have free time. Sarah asked if I could share her number, and after checking with my babysitter, I eventually passed along the contact information. I thought it would be helpful if they could communicate directly and see whether their schedules matched.

The first time Sarah contacted my babysitter, everything seemed perfectly normal. She asked whether the sitter could watch her children for a few hours on a particular afternoon. My babysitter agreed because she happened to be available that day. Sarah thanked me afterward and said the children had enjoyed their time with her. I was happy that everything had worked out. I didn’t mind my babysitter accepting occasional work from another family, and I certainly wasn’t trying to prevent her from earning additional money. She is an independent person, and she has every right to decide which families she wants to work with. My only expectation was that our existing arrangement would remain respected.

However, things gradually started becoming uncomfortable. Sarah began contacting my babysitter more frequently, sometimes asking for childcare at the last minute. At first, these were occasional requests, but eventually she started behaving as though the sitter was automatically available whenever she needed help. She would message her on weekday mornings, ask about weekend availability, and sometimes request several hours of childcare with very little notice. My babysitter occasionally accepted when she had free time, but there were also times when she had to decline because she was already committed to our family or had personal plans. I didn’t think there was anything unusual about that. Nobody should be expected to remain available around the clock simply because another parent needs childcare.

The situation became more frustrating when Sarah started involving me in her scheduling problems. She would message me asking whether my babysitter was working for us on a particular day, whether I could change our arrangement, or whether I could ask the sitter to come to her house instead. One time, she contacted me the night before an appointment and asked if I could cancel my babysitter’s scheduled visit so she could use her for the entire afternoon. I politely explained that I already had plans and needed the childcare I had arranged. She responded that it was only a few hours and that I could probably manage without the sitter. I was surprised by how casually she expected me to change my own arrangements for her convenience.

I tried to remain polite because I didn’t want a disagreement between adults to affect our children’s friendship. However, Sarah continued making comments that suggested she believed my babysitter was somehow a shared resource. She would say things like, “I hope your sitter is free this weekend because I really need her,” or “Can you make sure she doesn’t book anyone else on Friday?” Sometimes she would even tell me that she had already spoken to the sitter and was expecting her to come over, despite not having received confirmation. It started feeling as though I was responsible for managing someone else’s childcare arrangements, which was never something I had agreed to do.

The final incident happened when I had arranged for my babysitter to look after my children on a particularly busy afternoon. I had work commitments that I couldn’t easily reschedule, and everything had been confirmed in advance. Sarah contacted me and said she needed the sitter that same afternoon because something had come up. She asked whether I could tell my babysitter to go to her house instead. I told her that the sitter was already booked with my family and that I couldn’t change the arrangement. Sarah became annoyed and said she thought we had an understanding about sharing childcare. That was when I finally told her that my sitter was not her sitter. I explained that I had originally shared the contact information as a courtesy, not because I was offering her unlimited access to someone I had hired and arranged childcare with. Sarah accused me of being selfish and said I was acting as though I owned the babysitter. I responded that I didn’t own anyone, but I did have the right to maintain the childcare arrangement I had made and paid for. Now things are awkward between us, and I’m wondering whether I should have handled the situation differently. Am I the asshole for telling another mother that my babysitter isn’t her babysitter, especially after initially sharing the sitter’s contact information with her?

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AITA for telling a mom that my sitter is not her sitter?

I have two sons, ages 8 and 10, and we have a babysitter who has been working with our family for the past few years. He has always been reliable, responsible, and good with my children. My boys genuinely enjoy spending time with him, and I have never had any major complaints about the way he looks after them.

Their school is conveniently located right next to a public park, so after school pickup, the boys sometimes spend an extra 30 to 60 minutes playing there before heading home. This has become a regular part of their afternoon routine, and several other children from the school usually stay at the park around the same time.

Yesterday, something happened that turned what should have been an ordinary afternoon into a surprisingly uncomfortable situation involving several parents. According to what I was told, my two boys were playing at the park with four or five other boys from their school. They were all around the same age and had apparently been spending time together after school for a while. At first, everything was completely normal. The children were running around, laughing, and playing different games while their parents or caregivers were nearby.

At some point, the boys decided to head down toward a small creek and wooded area that runs between the school grounds and the park. It is a little natural area where children sometimes explore, play in the dirt, and look for interesting things. My sitter was with them at the time, and he apparently joined in when the boys started playing tag. He ran around with them for a while, and everyone seemed to be having fun. Eventually, the children stopped playing tag and started digging around in the dirt. They were no longer running around, and my sitter decided it was time to take my two boys home.

He gathered my children, made sure they were ready to leave, and headed home with them. The other children stayed behind with the understanding that their own parents or caregivers would eventually collect them. As far as my sitter knew, there was no agreement that he was responsible for supervising everyone else’s children. He had brought my sons to the park, and his responsibility was to make sure they were safe and got home at the appropriate time.

What I didn’t know was that shortly after my sitter left, the other boys apparently started throwing rocks at each other. Unfortunately, one of the children was accidentally hit by a rock and ended up getting injured. I don’t know exactly how serious the injury was, but his mother later told me that she had taken him to urgent care. Thankfully, it doesn’t sound like it was a life-threatening situation, but I completely understand that seeing your child hurt is frightening and upsetting for any parent.

The following day, the mother of the injured boy approached me and immediately started blaming my sitter for what happened. She was extremely upset and insisted that he should never have left the children alone in that area. According to her, because he had started a game of tag and participated in the activity, he had effectively taken responsibility for every child who was playing with my sons. She argued that the boys had followed him toward the creek area because he organized the game, and therefore he should have made sure everyone was supervised until their parents arrived.

I was honestly confused by her argument. My sitter was not hired to supervise the entire park, and he certainly wasn’t responsible for every child who happened to play with my sons. He was there to look after my two children. Just because other children joined their game didn’t automatically make him their babysitter. If another parent wants someone to supervise their child after school, they need to make that arrangement directly instead of assuming another family’s caregiver has accepted that responsibility.

I tried explaining this calmly, but she didn’t seem interested in hearing my perspective. She kept repeating that my sitter had started the activity and should have known that the children might continue playing after he left. I told her that playing tag with a group of children doesn’t mean someone has agreed to supervise them indefinitely.

My sitter wasn’t a park employee, a teacher, or a playground supervisor. He was simply a caregiver spending time with the children he was actually responsible for.

I also pointed out that the park is a public place, and the other parents were responsible for knowing where their own children were and making sure they had appropriate supervision. If their children were allowed to remain at the park after school without a parent or caregiver, that was a decision those parents had made.

I wouldn’t automatically expect another family’s babysitter to take responsibility for my children just because they happened to be playing together. If I knew my children were staying somewhere, I would either remain nearby myself or make a clear arrangement with an adult who had agreed to watch them.

At this point, the conversation took an even more frustrating turn. Instead of simply discussing what had happened, the mother told me that she expected me to contribute money toward her son’s urgent care expenses. Specifically, she wanted $100 to cover the deductible for the visit. I was surprised because I hadn’t expected the conversation to turn into a financial demand. She explained that the amount wasn’t particularly large and that she thought it was only fair for me to help because my sitter had supposedly caused the situation.

I want to make something clear: I am not refusing to help because I cannot afford $100. The amount itself isn’t the issue. I could easily pay it without affecting my family’s finances. However, I don’t believe being financially comfortable means I should automatically accept responsibility for an accident involving someone else’s child.

There is a difference between helping someone out of kindness and paying a bill because someone is trying to make you feel responsible for something you didn’t cause.

I asked her whether she knew which child had actually thrown the rock. She told me that another boy had thrown it, although she insisted that the accident happened because my sitter had started the original game and then left. I suggested that she speak with the parents of the child who threw the rock. After all, if her son was injured by another child’s actions, it would make more sense to discuss the incident with that child’s family rather than demand money from someone whose children were already home when it happened.

She immediately became defensive and said I was missing the point. In her opinion, the child who threw the rock was only involved because the boys had been playing together in an activity my sitter started. She seemed convinced that my sitter had created a situation in which the children were left unsupervised, making him indirectly responsible for everything that happened afterward.

I repeated that my sitter had never agreed to supervise her son or any of the other children. Nobody had asked him to take on that responsibility, and nobody had offered to pay him for looking after additional children. He was simply doing his job and making sure my sons got home safely. I also told her that if she wanted her child supervised at the park, she should make arrangements for that rather than assuming another parent would provide it for free.

The mother clearly wasn’t happy with my response. She continued insisting that I should take some responsibility because my sitter had been the adult present when the children started playing. I told her that being present earlier doesn’t automatically make someone responsible for every incident that happens after they leave. If that were the standard, any parent who played with a group of children would somehow become responsible for all of them for the rest of the afternoon.

Eventually, I decided the conversation was going nowhere. I wasn’t going to keep arguing about something that I didn’t believe was my responsibility. I sent her a text message saying simply, “NO.” I didn’t offer to split the bill, negotiate a smaller amount, or make any promises to pay later. I felt that my position was already clear, and I didn’t see a reason to continue discussing it.

Now, however, I’m wondering whether I handled the situation too harshly. I understand that accidents happen, and I genuinely feel bad that her son was injured. No parent wants to receive a call saying their child has been hurt. I also understand why she might have been upset if she believed an adult was supervising the group and then suddenly left. But I don’t think her assumptions should become my financial responsibility.

My sitter has been with us for years, and I don’t want him to feel that he did something wrong simply because other children happened to be playing nearby. At the same time, I don’t want this incident to create unnecessary tension between our families or make things uncomfortable for my children at school.

Edit 1: Since several people have asked, my sitter is NOT female. He is a man who has been working with our family for several years. I mentioned this because some people seemed to be making assumptions about the situation based on the idea that the caregiver was a woman. His gender doesn’t change the actual circumstances. He was responsible for my two sons, not every child at the park.

Edit 2: I want to clarify that my sitter did not abandon my children or suddenly disappear.

He gathered my two boys and took them home as he was supposed to. The other children remained at the park after he left. The rock-throwing incident happened afterward, when my children were no longer there.

Edit 3: I have also spoken with my sitter about what happened. He confirmed that the children had been playing together, that he participated in tag for a while, and that he took my boys home when it was time to leave. He was surprised to hear that another mother believed he had accepted responsibility for the entire group.

I feel terrible that a child got hurt, but I still don’t believe that makes me responsible for paying his medical deductible. I never agreed to supervise the other children, and neither did my sitter.

So, AITA for refusing to pay the $100 urgent care deductible, or should I have paid it just to keep the peace?

When Helping Another Mom Turns Into Being Taken Advantage Of

I never imagined that something as simple as arranging childcare would turn into a major disagreement with another mother. I have always believed that parents should help one another whenever possible, especially when it comes to situations involving children. However, I also believe that there is a difference between being helpful and allowing someone to take advantage of your kindness. I am currently dealing with a situation that has made me question whether I was too harsh when I finally told another mom that my babysitter wasn’t her personal childcare provider. What started as a friendly arrangement has gradually become an uncomfortable situation, and I honestly don’t know whether I handled it correctly.

I am a mother, and like most parents, finding reliable childcare has never been particularly easy. Over the years, I have tried several babysitters, but finding someone trustworthy, responsible, and genuinely good with children has been a challenge. Some people were constantly late, others cancelled at the last minute, and a few simply weren’t comfortable handling the everyday responsibilities that come with looking after young children. I don’t expect anyone to be perfect, but I do need someone who takes the job seriously and understands that my children’s safety and well-being come first.

After a lot of searching, I finally found a babysitter who has been working with my family for quite some time. Let’s call her Emily. She is responsible, patient, organized, and genuinely enjoys spending time with my children. She knows their personalities, understands their routines, remembers their food preferences, and knows how to handle them when they become upset or difficult. My children are also comfortable around her, which is extremely important to me. I don’t have to worry constantly when I leave them with her because she has consistently demonstrated that I can trust her.

I pay Emily fairly, and I always try to respect her time and availability. We have an arrangement that works well for both of us. Whenever I need childcare, I contact her in advance, explain the hours, and make sure she is comfortable accepting the job. If she has other commitments, I don’t pressure her to change them. She is not obligated to be available whenever I need her, and I understand that she has her own personal life outside of working for my family.

A few months ago, I became friendly with another mother through our children’s school. Let’s call her Sarah. Our children are around the same age and attend some of the same activities. We started talking during school pickups, exchanged parenting experiences, and occasionally arranged for the children to spend time together. Initially, Sarah seemed like a genuinely nice person. She was friendly, approachable, and someone I thought I could develop a good friendship with. We often discussed work schedules, family responsibilities, and the challenges of balancing parenting with everyday life.

During one of our conversations, Sarah mentioned that she was struggling to find a reliable babysitter. She explained that her previous childcare arrangements had become unreliable, and she sometimes had difficulty managing appointments and work commitments. I understood her frustration because I had experienced similar problems before finding Emily. I told her that I was fortunate to have found someone who worked well with my family and that having dependable childcare had made my life significantly easier.

Sarah immediately asked whether my babysitter ever accepted work from other families. I told her that I wasn’t completely sure, but I could ask. I didn’t see any harm in helping her find childcare, especially since Emily might appreciate additional opportunities to earn money. I contacted Emily and asked whether she would be comfortable sharing her contact information with another family. She said she was open to occasional babysitting jobs if her schedule allowed, so I passed her number along to Sarah.

At that point, I genuinely believed I was doing something helpful. I wasn’t worried about sharing Emily’s contact information because I understood that she was free to work for other families. I also didn’t expect Sarah to become dependent on her or assume that Emily would always be available. My intention was simply to connect two people who might benefit from knowing each other. I thought Sarah would contact Emily directly, discuss her needs, and arrange occasional childcare whenever their schedules matched.

The first arrangement went smoothly. Sarah contacted Emily and asked whether she could watch her children for a few hours one afternoon. Emily happened to be available, so she accepted the job. Sarah thanked me afterward and mentioned that her children had enjoyed spending time with her. I was happy everything had worked out, and I didn’t think there was any reason to make the situation complicated. In fact, I was pleased that Emily had found another family who appreciated her work.

Over the next few weeks, Sarah contacted Emily several more times. Most of the requests were reasonable, and Emily accepted some of them when she had free time. Occasionally, she declined because she was already working for us or had other personal commitments. I didn’t interfere with their arrangement because they were both adults and could manage their schedules themselves. If Sarah needed childcare, she could ask Emily directly, and Emily could decide whether she wanted to accept the job.

However, I started noticing that Sarah’s expectations were changing. Instead of asking whether Emily was available, she began speaking as though she expected her to be available whenever she needed childcare. She would send messages early in the morning asking whether Emily could come over that afternoon. Sometimes she would contact her late in the evening and request childcare for the following morning. When Emily couldn’t accommodate those requests, Sarah would become frustrated and complain to me.

At first, I tried to be understanding. I knew parenting could be unpredictable, and unexpected situations sometimes came up. I told Sarah that Emily had her own schedule and that it was always better to arrange childcare in advance. Sarah agreed, but her behavior didn’t really change. She continued making last-minute requests and seemed surprised whenever Emily declined. I started feeling uncomfortable because I was being pulled into a situation that had nothing to do with me.

One particular incident made me realize that Sarah was beginning to treat Emily as though she were her personal babysitter. I had arranged childcare for an afternoon when I needed to attend several important appointments. Everything had been discussed and confirmed with Emily several days earlier. I had planned my schedule around her availability, and I was relying on her to look after my children while I handled my responsibilities.

That morning, Sarah contacted me and asked whether Emily was coming to my house that afternoon. I told her yes because everything had already been arranged. Sarah then asked whether I could cancel the booking and allow Emily to watch her children instead. Apparently, she had something important to attend and hadn’t managed to find anyone else. I was surprised by the request because she was essentially asking me to give up childcare I had already arranged so she could use the same person.

I explained that I couldn’t do that because I needed Emily that afternoon. Sarah responded that she only needed her for a few hours and suggested that I could probably manage without a babysitter. I told her that I had already made plans and couldn’t suddenly change everything. She then asked whether I could at least talk to Emily and see if she would be willing to switch the booking. I said no because I wasn’t going to ask someone to cancel a confirmed commitment just because another family had made plans at the last minute.

Sarah seemed irritated but eventually stopped discussing it. I assumed she understood my position, but the situation continued becoming more complicated. A few days later, she mentioned that she had been thinking about arranging regular childcare with Emily. She said she wanted to have her available on certain weekdays and weekends whenever she needed help. I told her that she should discuss that directly with Emily because I couldn’t make decisions about another person’s work schedule.

She responded that Emily already worked with my family, so she thought I could help coordinate everything. I explained that Emily wasn’t employed exclusively by me and that I didn’t control her availability. If she wanted to work for Sarah regularly, that was something she could discuss with her. However, I also made it clear that my existing arrangements needed to remain separate and that I couldn’t be expected to change my schedule whenever Sarah wanted childcare.

Another uncomfortable situation happened when Sarah started asking me whether I could tell Emily not to accept other jobs on certain days. She explained that she wanted to make sure Emily would be available if something came up. I thought that was an unreasonable expectation. Sarah wasn’t paying Emily for those days, and she hadn’t entered into any agreement that guaranteed her availability. I told her that if she wanted guaranteed childcare on specific days, she needed to discuss a regular schedule and payment arrangement directly with Emily.

Sarah replied that I was making things unnecessarily difficult. She said she thought sharing a babysitter was supposed to make life easier for everyone. I explained that sharing contact information didn’t mean sharing ownership or control over someone’s time. Emily could decide which families she wanted to work with, and nobody had the right to demand that she remain available without an agreed arrangement.

Things became even more awkward when Sarah started bringing the subject up around other parents. During one school pickup, she mentioned that she was having trouble finding childcare because my babysitter wasn’t always available. She said it was frustrating because she thought we had agreed to share the sitter. I was uncomfortable hearing that because I had never made such an agreement. I had simply given her Emily’s number after asking whether she was open to occasional additional work.

One mother standing nearby asked whether Emily had stopped working for Sarah. Sarah explained that she hadn’t, but that I apparently had priority because Emily worked with my family first. I tried not to react, but I felt she was presenting the situation in a way that made me look unreasonable. Emily wasn’t refusing to work for her because I had forbidden it. She was simply accepting or declining jobs based on her own availability.

Later that day, I contacted Emily to make sure Sarah hadn’t been putting pressure on her. I asked whether everything was okay and whether she felt comfortable with the arrangement. Emily told me that Sarah had been contacting her quite frequently and sometimes seemed upset when she couldn’t accept a job. She also mentioned that Sarah occasionally asked her to change existing commitments or provide childcare with almost no notice.

I felt bad hearing that because I never intended to create an uncomfortable working situation for Emily. I had shared her contact information to help another parent, not to expose her to constant pressure. I told Emily that she should feel completely comfortable declining any request she couldn’t accommodate. I also said that she didn’t need to explain herself to anyone when she wasn’t available. Her time was valuable, and she deserved to have her schedule respected.

Emily thanked me and said she appreciated the support. She also explained that she enjoyed working with Sarah’s children when the arrangements were properly organized, but the constant last-minute requests were becoming stressful. I told her that she should communicate her boundaries directly and never feel obligated to accept work simply because someone expected it. I wasn’t going to tell her who she could or couldn’t work for, but I certainly didn’t want her feeling pressured.

A few days later, Sarah contacted me again. This time, she wanted Emily to watch her children on a weekend when I had already arranged childcare for my own family. She asked whether I could move our booking because she had a personal commitment that she couldn’t miss. I told her that Emily was already booked with us and that I wasn’t going to change the arrangement.

Sarah became annoyed and said that she thought I would be more flexible. She reminded me that she had used Emily several times before and believed we had an informal understanding about sharing childcare. I told her that I had never agreed to anything like that. I had given her Emily’s number as a courtesy, and any future arrangements were between the two of them.

She then accused me of acting as though I owned Emily. That comment genuinely irritated me because it completely misunderstood what I was saying. I don’t own Emily, and I have never claimed to own her time. She is an independent person who can work for whoever she chooses. However, when I arrange and pay for childcare in advance, I have every right to expect that commitment to be respected. Sarah doesn’t get to demand that I cancel my booking simply because she wants the same person.

I finally told her, “My babysitter is not your babysitter. You are welcome to contact her and ask whether she is available, but you cannot expect me to rearrange my childcare whenever you need her.” I also explained that she needed to stop treating me as though I was responsible for managing Emily’s schedule. If Emily was available, they could make arrangements directly. If she wasn’t available, Sarah needed to find another option rather than getting upset with me.

Sarah didn’t take that very well. She said I was being unnecessarily territorial and making a simple situation into a personal issue. She also suggested that I was prioritizing my own convenience over another mother’s responsibilities. I responded that I wasn’t responsible for her childcare arrangements and that my children deserved the same consideration as hers. I had made my booking in advance, and I wasn’t going to cancel it to solve a problem she had created by waiting until the last minute.

After that conversation, Sarah became noticeably distant. She stopped chatting with me during school pickup and no longer seemed interested in arranging playdates between our children. I wasn’t particularly upset about losing the friendship, but I did feel bad that things had become so uncomfortable. Our children genuinely enjoyed spending time together, and I didn’t want adult disagreements to affect them.

A few days later, another mother approached me and asked what had happened between Sarah and me. Apparently, Sarah had told some people that I refused to let her use my babysitter. She described the situation as though I had deliberately blocked her from receiving childcare because I wanted to keep Emily exclusively for myself. I explained that this wasn’t true. I had shared the contact information, Emily had accepted several jobs from Sarah, and nobody had prevented her from working for another family.

I also explained that the disagreement started because Sarah expected me to cancel confirmed childcare arrangements and coordinate Emily’s schedule around her needs. I didn’t think that was reasonable. The other mother seemed to understand my position, although she suggested that perhaps I could have been more patient because Sarah was struggling with childcare. I agreed that finding a babysitter could be difficult, but I didn’t think that justified expecting someone else to give up their arrangements.

What bothers me most is that Sarah seems to believe my original offer created an ongoing obligation. I never promised her that Emily would always be available. I never guaranteed that she could use her whenever she wanted. I simply introduced them because I thought they might be able to arrange occasional babysitting jobs. I didn’t expect to become responsible for coordinating their schedules or dealing with Sarah’s frustration whenever Emily declined a request.

I also don’t want Emily to feel caught in the middle of a disagreement between two parents. She should be able to decide which jobs she accepts without worrying that one family will become upset with her because she is working for another. If Sarah wants regular childcare, she can discuss a fixed schedule and appropriate payment with Emily. If Emily agrees, that’s completely between them. I have no intention of interfering with their professional relationship.

At the same time, I need to protect the arrangements I have made for my own children. I work hard to manage my schedule, and reliable childcare is essential for my family. I shouldn’t have to constantly worry that someone will ask me to cancel a booking or give up my scheduled hours because they haven’t planned ahead. Being friendly with another parent doesn’t mean I have to sacrifice my own family’s needs.

Now I’m wondering whether I was too blunt when I told Sarah that my babysitter wasn’t her babysitter. Maybe I should have chosen softer words, but after repeatedly explaining the situation, I felt I had reached my limit. I don’t believe I did anything wrong by setting a boundary, especially when I had originally tried to help her. However, I can understand why she might have felt disappointed if she had started relying on Emily for occasional childcare.

I never intended to make Sarah’s life more difficult, and I don’t mind helping another parent when I reasonably can. But I also don’t think kindness should turn into an expectation that someone else will always accommodate your needs. Emily has the right to manage her own work schedule, I have the right to maintain my childcare arrangements, and Sarah has the responsibility to find reliable childcare for her own family.

So, AITA for telling another mom that my babysitter isn’t her babysitter after I originally shared the sitter’s contact information with her? Was I being unnecessarily territorial, or was I simply setting a reasonable boundary after she repeatedly expected me to rearrange my family’s childcare schedule for her?