I never expected that my grandmother’s funeral would be followed by another family problem, especially one involving my estranged brother’s ex-girlfriend. Losing my grandmother had already left everyone emotionally exhausted. She had been one of the few people in our family who could bring everyone together, even when there were disagreements or unresolved issues between us. My brother and I had been estranged for quite some time, and although I still cared about him, we barely communicated anymore. His relationship with our family had become complicated over the years, and after his breakup with his ex, she completely disappeared from our lives. I assumed that was the end of that chapter. I certainly never imagined that she would contact me immediately after my grandmother’s funeral, and I was even more shocked when I found out why she was reaching out.

The funeral itself had been difficult enough. Everyone was trying to stay composed while dealing with their own grief, and there were relatives I had not seen in years. My brother did not attend, which honestly did not surprise me given how distant he had become from the family. There were some awkward conversations about him, but nobody wanted to turn Grandma’s funeral into a discussion about old family conflicts. After the service, we returned to my grandmother’s house to sort through some belongings and spend time together. It was emotional seeing all of her familiar things still sitting exactly where she had left them. Her favorite chair was still in the living room, old family photographs covered the shelves, and there were small personal items everywhere that suddenly felt incredibly important. We were all trying to decide what should happen to everything while also respecting what Grandma would have wanted.

A few days later, I received a message from my brother’s ex. At first, I assumed she was simply reaching out to offer condolences. I had not spoken to her in a long time, so seeing her name on my phone immediately caught me off guard. Her message started politely, saying that she had heard about Grandma and was sorry for my loss. I appreciated the gesture, especially because despite everything that had happened between her and my brother, she had known Grandma for several years. I replied with a simple thank-you and thought that would be the end of our conversation. Instead, she quickly changed the subject and asked me about Grandma’s house. She wanted to know whether the family had decided what was happening with certain belongings and whether the house would eventually be sold. I thought the question was strange, but I assumed she might have had a legitimate reason for asking.

Then she made the request, and I honestly had to read her message several times because I could not believe what I was seeing. She said that she had always loved Grandma’s house and wanted to know if she could have one of the more valuable items from it. She explained that Grandma had once told her that she could have it, even though nobody else in the family had ever heard about this supposed promise. She then asked if I could make sure she received it before the family distributed Grandma’s belongings. Her reasoning was that she had been close to Grandma during her relationship with my brother and believed Grandma would have wanted her to have something meaningful. What made the situation even more uncomfortable was the timing. Grandma had barely been buried, everyone was grieving, and this woman was contacting me to claim something valuable from her estate based on a verbal promise that nobody could verify.

I told her that I was not responsible for deciding who received Grandma’s belongings, and that anything valuable would have to be discussed with the family. She became surprisingly defensive. She said she was not trying to take advantage of anyone and insisted that Grandma had specifically told her she could have the item. She also reminded me that she had helped Grandma several times when my brother and she were together. According to her, she had driven Grandma to appointments, brought her groceries, and spent time with her when other family members were busy. I did not deny that she had been kind to Grandma, but I also did not think helping someone automatically entitled a person to their belongings after they died. If Grandma truly wanted her to have something, I felt there should at least be some evidence, such as a note, message, or mention in her estate plans.

I decided to talk to the rest of my family before responding further. When I explained what had happened, everyone was stunned. Some relatives were angry because they felt she was deliberately trying to take advantage of the family while we were vulnerable. Others pointed out that Grandma had always been generous and may genuinely have promised something to her without telling everyone else. But nobody could confirm the story. My brother was still estranged from the family, so contacting him was complicated, but eventually someone managed to get in touch with him. His reaction made the situation even stranger. He said his ex had never mentioned any promise from Grandma while they were together, and he was skeptical that Grandma had ever made the commitment she was now describing. He also told us that their breakup had been extremely messy and that he had not spoken to her since.

In the end, I decided that grief was already difficult enough without allowing an unverified claim to create another family conflict. I told my brother’s ex that I was sorry if she believed Grandma had promised her something, but we could not simply hand over a valuable family possession based on a private conversation nobody could confirm. I also told her that if she had any written evidence or documentation showing that Grandma had actually given her the item, she was welcome to provide it and the family would consider it fairly. She stopped responding after that. I still do not know whether Grandma ever made that promise, and part of me wishes the whole situation had never happened. What bothers me most is not necessarily the request itself, but the timing and the way it was presented. My grandmother’s funeral should have been a time for mourning and remembering her, not an opportunity for someone from the past to suddenly appear and make a claim on her belongings. Maybe my brother’s ex genuinely believed she was honoring Grandma’s wishes, but given everything that happened, I cannot shake the feeling that she saw a grieving family and an opportunity to ask for something she wanted.

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AITA for refusing to split my inheritance with my six year old nephew?

My Grandmother recently passed away and I was the sole benefactor of her will. She wasn’t a rich woman but she was comfortable enough and she left me her house, car and savings. My Father is her only child but he’d made it clear early on when the will was being written up that he didn’t want anything from her will so to give it to me which she did.

I have an older brother who I haven’t seen in five years, he was disowned by the family for shit he did which included stealing from various members of the family other stuff I can’t say without breaking this subreddit’s rules but it’s bad. He and his then girlfriend had a 1 year old son when I last saw them but honestly they had no interest in him being around our family in the first place and would often use him as a bartering chip against my parents.

His girlfriend who is his ex apparently now reached out to me on social media the day after the funeral and was all sweet and called me “Babes” and used x’s and emoji’s which, ew, fuck off we’re not friends. To sum it up, she asked when the will was being read so she could come. I asked her why she’d be coming and she said to find out her sons share of the inheritance obviously. I was beyond shocked at the audacity of this bitch and I told her as much stating there was nothing in the will for him and it had already been read to get the funeral plans she’d set out in it.

She was pissed at this and demanded to know why he’d not been included in the will and asked who’d gotten the things in the will, I pointed out how she’d not acted like family and my brother had been disowned so really how could she think he’d be in the will? I also told her that I had gotten the stuff in the will, mistake on my part but whatever.

She began to demand I split it with him stating that that “Nice House” was much too big for a single 21 year old girl and how I didn’t need it as much as her as she had a child to take care of and how I was being selfish and should sign it over to her, or give her a cut of the money for my nephews future and that it was my “responsibility” as his aunt. I told her no and to not contact me again. I’ve heard she’s apparently talking on social media about how i’ve stolen her sons future and food from his mouth and a roof from over his head I won’t lie it’s stressing me and i’m starting to feel guilty.

I don’t give two shits about her, she can go curl up in a gutter for all I care for what she put my parents through years ago but I feel guilty for my nephew, he’s only a kid and none of this is his fault but I have doubts on if anything I give her for him would really trickle down to him.

Edit: too many people have suggested it for me to reply to you all so i’m editing this in here, thank you for your suggestions about a trust fund for him, when I meet with the lawyer about my own will i’m going to discuss that with them.

A Painful Loss Brings Unexpected Complications

I never imagined that the days immediately following my grandmother’s funeral would become so complicated. Losing her was already painful enough, and the last thing I expected was to deal with an old family connection making an unexpected request. My grandmother had always been one of the most important people in my life. She was the kind of person who remembered everyone’s birthday, asked about every little detail of your life, and somehow knew when someone was upset even if they insisted they were fine. Her house had always been a gathering place for our family, and even after certain relationships within the family became strained, Grandma continued trying to keep everyone connected.

Unfortunately, my relationship with my older brother had deteriorated badly over the past few years. There had been several disagreements between us, some involving money and others involving decisions he made that affected the entire family. Eventually, our arguments became so frequent that we both stopped trying to resolve them. We went from talking every few days to barely communicating at all. I would occasionally hear about him through other relatives, but we were no longer part of each other’s daily lives. It was painful, but after enough failed attempts to repair things, I learned to accept the distance. Grandma was one of the only people who still spoke to both of us regularly.

My brother had also been in a long-term relationship with a woman I will call Sarah. She had been around our family for several years, so she was not exactly a stranger. She attended birthdays, holidays, family dinners, and even spent time with Grandma when my brother was busy. For a while, I actually thought Sarah was a good influence on him. She was friendly toward most of us, and Grandma seemed to genuinely like her. However, their relationship eventually ended badly. I never knew every detail because my brother refused to discuss it, but I knew the breakup involved a lot of arguments and hurt feelings. After they separated, Sarah disappeared completely from our family’s lives.

Because of that, I was surprised when she appeared at Grandma’s funeral. She did not approach me or start a conversation. She simply stood toward the back with a few people I did not recognize. I remember noticing her but deciding not to make anything of it. Funerals are emotional, and I did not want to create an uncomfortable situation by asking why she was there. Maybe she had genuinely cared about Grandma and wanted to say goodbye. Whatever her reason was, I decided to leave it alone. My brother himself did not attend the funeral, which was sad but not entirely unexpected considering how distant he had become.

The funeral was incredibly emotional for everyone. After the service, we went back to Grandma’s house because several relatives wanted to sit together, drink coffee, and talk about her. There was something strange about being inside her home without her there. Everything looked normal, but somehow the entire atmosphere felt different. Her glasses were still sitting on the table. Her favorite blanket was folded over the back of her chair. There were photographs of our family everywhere. Every small object seemed to carry a memory, and I found myself becoming emotional over things I had never paid much attention to before.

Over the next couple of days, the family started discussing what needed to be done with Grandma’s belongings. Nobody wanted to rush into anything. We were not interested in immediately dividing everything up like it was a competition. The most important thing was making sure that anything specifically mentioned in her will or estate documents was handled properly. For sentimental belongings that were not clearly assigned, we planned to discuss them as a family. It was going to take time, and honestly, none of us were emotionally ready to deal with most of it.

Then, three days after the funeral, I received a message from Sarah.

At first, I assumed she was simply checking on me. Her message began by saying that she was sorry about Grandma and that she had been thinking about our family. She mentioned that Grandma had always treated her kindly and that she was grateful for the time they had spent together. I appreciated the message. Regardless of what had happened between Sarah and my brother, I had no reason to assume she was being insincere. I replied politely and thanked her for reaching out.

I thought that would be the end of our conversation.

Instead, about ten minutes later, she sent another message asking whether we had started going through Grandma’s belongings yet. I remember staring at my phone for a moment because the question seemed oddly specific. I told her that we had started discussing things but that nothing had been finalized. She then asked whether I knew what was happening with one particular item in Grandma’s house.

That was when the conversation became uncomfortable.

Sarah asked about a valuable piece of jewelry that Grandma had owned for many years. It was not just an ordinary piece of jewelry. It had belonged to my great-grandmother before eventually being passed down to Grandma. Everyone in the family knew it had sentimental value, and because of its age and materials, it was also worth a significant amount of money. I told Sarah that I believed the jewelry would probably stay within the family unless Grandma had specifically left it to someone in her will.

Sarah responded that Grandma had actually promised the jewelry to her.

I genuinely thought she was joking.

I asked her what she meant, and she explained that Grandma had supposedly told her several times that she wanted Sarah to have it. According to Sarah, Grandma had said that she considered her part of the family and wanted her to have something special if anything ever happened to her. Sarah said she had never asked Grandma for it, but that Grandma had brought up the subject herself.

The problem was that nobody else had ever heard about this promise.

I told Sarah that I was not accusing her of lying, but I had never heard Grandma say anything about giving that jewelry to her. I also explained that Grandma’s estate was being handled carefully, and we could not simply give away valuable family property because someone claimed they had been promised it privately. Sarah seemed offended by my response.

She told me that she was not “some random ex-girlfriend” and that she had been close to Grandma for years. She reminded me of all the times she had visited Grandma, helped her around the house, brought her groceries, and taken her to appointments. She said that Grandma had trusted her and that their relationship had continued independently of my brother.

I understood that she had been kind to Grandma. I was not trying to erase that history. But being close to someone does not automatically mean you inherit their possessions. There is a difference between having a meaningful relationship with someone and having a legal or documented claim to something they owned.

What bothered me even more was the timing.

Sarah had attended the funeral, watched our family say goodbye to Grandma, and then waited only a few days before contacting me about a valuable possession. If she genuinely believed Grandma had promised it to her, I could understand why she would eventually bring it up. But contacting me so soon after the funeral made the entire thing feel extremely uncomfortable.

I told her that if Grandma had left her something in writing, she should provide the documentation. If there was a letter, a message, a note, or anything else showing that Grandma had specifically intended for Sarah to receive the jewelry, we would take it seriously. I also said that if there was nothing in writing, the matter would have to be discussed with the people responsible for handling Grandma’s estate.

Sarah responded that Grandma had never written anything down because it had been a private conversation.

That answer immediately made things more complicated.

I asked whether anyone else had been present when Grandma supposedly made the promise. Sarah said no. According to her, the conversation had happened several months earlier when she had visited Grandma by herself. She said Grandma had shown her the jewelry and told her that she wanted Sarah to have it someday.

There was no witness.

There was no letter.

There was no message.

There was no mention of it in the estate documents that we knew about.

I decided not to argue with Sarah directly. Instead, I told her that I would speak with the family and that nobody was going to make a decision while emotions were still so high. She replied that she hoped we would “do the right thing” because she believed Grandma’s wishes should matter more than family politics.

That statement bothered me more than I expected.

There had been no family politics involved. Nobody was trying to punish Sarah for being my brother’s ex. We were simply trying to protect Grandma’s wishes and handle her belongings responsibly. If Grandma truly wanted Sarah to have the jewelry, I wanted to honor that. But I could not simply accept an unverified claim because refusing it might make me look heartless.

That evening, I brought the situation up with my parents and two other relatives who were helping organize Grandma’s belongings. Their reactions were immediate. Everyone remembered Sarah being close to Grandma, but nobody remembered Grandma ever saying that the jewelry was intended for her.

One relative even remembered Grandma talking about keeping the jewelry in the family because it had belonged to her mother. That did not prove Sarah was lying, but it made the situation even more confusing.

Eventually, we decided to look through Grandma’s important papers more carefully. We found her will and several notes regarding personal belongings. The jewelry was not specifically mentioned by name, but there were instructions about certain family heirlooms being distributed among her children and grandchildren. Nothing indicated that Sarah was supposed to receive anything.

We also contacted my brother because, despite our estrangement, he was still part of the family and had known Sarah better than anyone else. I was nervous about speaking with him after everything that had happened between us, but I explained the situation as calmly as possible.

His response surprised me.

He said he had never heard Sarah mention any promise from Grandma while they were dating. He also said that during their relationship, Sarah had once joked about loving some of Grandma’s jewelry, but he had always assumed it was just a compliment. He could not say for certain whether Grandma had ever promised her anything, but he found the timing suspicious.

He also told me something I did not know. According to him, Sarah had asked Grandma about the jewelry during their relationship. Grandma had apparently told her that it was a family heirloom and that she planned to keep it within the family. My brother admitted that he had not been present for that conversation, so even his version was not definitive.

At that point, we decided not to give Sarah the jewelry.

I sent her a final message explaining that we had looked through Grandma’s documents and could not find anything confirming that she had left the jewelry to her. I told her that if she had any evidence supporting her claim, we would consider it. Otherwise, the jewelry would remain with the family according to Grandma’s estate arrangements.

Sarah did not respond immediately.

The next morning, she sent a long message accusing us of deliberately excluding her because she was no longer dating my brother. She said Grandma had considered her family and that we were disrespecting Grandma by refusing to honor a private promise. She also mentioned everything she had done for Grandma over the years, almost as if she expected those acts of kindness to function as payment for the jewelry.

I did not respond.

For the first time since she contacted me, I realized that I did not need to convince her that our decision was fair. We had listened to her claim, investigated it, checked the available documents, and offered her the opportunity to provide evidence. That was all we could reasonably do.

A few days later, Sarah stopped contacting us. I have no idea whether she genuinely believed Grandma had promised her the jewelry or whether she simply hoped the family would give it to her because of their past relationship. Maybe there was a private conversation between them that none of us knew about. Maybe Grandma really had intended to give her something and never documented it. I will probably never know for certain.

What I do know is that the entire situation changed how I viewed that week. Instead of remembering only Grandma’s funeral and the stories everyone shared about her, I now also remember the uncomfortable messages, arguments, and suspicion surrounding one of her most valuable possessions. I wish Sarah had waited longer before bringing up the request, and I wish the conversation had happened in a way that felt less like a demand.

The strangest part is that I still feel conflicted about it. If Grandma truly promised Sarah the jewelry, then I would want to honor that promise even if I personally disliked the idea. But when someone makes a serious claim about a valuable family heirloom immediately after a funeral, without any evidence or witnesses, I think it is reasonable to be cautious. Grief makes people vulnerable, and decisions made during that period can easily create permanent family resentment.

For now, the jewelry remains with the family, and nobody has decided who will eventually receive it. My relationship with my brother is still complicated, but oddly enough, discussing this situation with him was the first real conversation we had shared in a long time. I never expected something involving his ex-girlfriend and Grandma’s belongings to bring us into contact again. Maybe nothing will come from it, or maybe this will eventually become the beginning of us repairing our relationship. Either way, I still cannot stop wondering whether Sarah’s request was simply incredibly badly timed—or whether she had been waiting for Grandma to die before making a claim she knew would be difficult for us to challenge.