I never imagined that attending a mutual friend’s wedding would turn into one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. I had known this couple for quite some time, and although I was closer to the wife than I was to her husband, we all moved within the same social circle. We had attended parties together, celebrated birthdays, shared dinners, and spent countless evenings laughing with the same group of friends. His wife was pregnant, and everyone around them seemed excited about the new chapter they were about to begin. From the outside, they appeared to be building a happy family together. That was exactly why I never expected her husband to behave the way he did that night.

The wedding itself was beautiful, and the atmosphere was lively from the moment we arrived. Nearly thirty of our mutual friends were there, the music was playing, people were dancing, and drinks were flowing throughout the evening. My own partner could not attend because of work, so I went without him and planned to enjoy the celebration with our friends. At first, everything felt completely normal. I greeted the couple, congratulated the newlyweds, caught up with people I had not seen in a while, and spent most of my time moving between different conversations. Her husband seemed friendly enough, although I had never considered him someone I would be interested in romantically. I viewed him as my friend’s husband, nothing more and nothing less. His wife was pregnant, and I assumed he was focused on supporting her and preparing for their baby.

Things became strange when I noticed that one of his friends kept finding reasons to approach me. At first, I thought he was simply being sociable, so I responded politely and continued talking with everyone else. However, his questions gradually became more personal, and his attempts to keep my attention started feeling less like harmless conversation and more like an obvious attempt to flirt. Eventually, it became clear that he was interested in me, so I politely but firmly turned him down. I did not want to embarrass him or create an uncomfortable scene in the middle of someone else’s wedding, but I also did not want to encourage him by pretending I might be interested. I assumed that would be the end of it. Instead, I soon realized that his attention had not been entirely his own idea. The situation took a much more disturbing turn when my pregnant friend’s husband began approaching me himself.

At first, I tried to convince myself that I might have misunderstood his intentions. Perhaps he was simply being overly friendly because everyone had been drinking and the atmosphere was relaxed. But the way he spoke to me quickly made it difficult to dismiss what was happening as innocent behavior. He began flirting openly and asking questions that made me uncomfortable. Then he went beyond anything I could reasonably interpret as casual conversation. He asked whether I would be interested in spending time alone with him so we could get to know each other better. I remember feeling genuinely stunned. This was not some random single man I had met at a party. This was my friend’s husband, a man whose wife was pregnant and who was supposed to be preparing to welcome a child into the world with her. I looked at him, trying to understand whether he was serious, but his behavior made it clear that he was not simply making an innocent joke. I immediately rejected the suggestion and made it clear that I had absolutely no interest in him.

Once I managed to get away from him, I knew I needed to tell someone what had happened. I pulled out my phone and sent a message to my partner, explaining that my friend’s husband had crossed a serious line with me. I also informed a few people in my inner circle because I did not want to be left alone dealing with the situation or have anyone question my account later. My intention was not to create drama at the wedding, embarrass anyone publicly, or turn the evening into a confrontation. I simply wanted people I trusted to know what was happening. I had already decided that I would eventually tell his wife because I could not imagine keeping something like this from a pregnant friend who deserved to know how her husband was behaving behind her back. At the same time, I understood that telling her could have serious consequences for their relationship, particularly with a baby on the way. I did not take that decision lightly, but I also knew that protecting his secret was not my responsibility.

What made the situation even more uncomfortable was that he did not seem embarrassed or discouraged after I rejected him. For the remainder of the evening, he continued hovering around me as though nothing had happened. He repeatedly offered to bring me drinks, found excuses to stand beside me, and positioned himself close enough that our bodies would touch. Every time I tried to move to another part of the room or join a different conversation, he somehow managed to appear nearby again. I became increasingly conscious of where he was standing and whether he was watching me. The wedding was supposed to be an enjoyable celebration, but I found myself spending more time figuring out how to avoid him than enjoying the event. Fortunately, several of our friends witnessed his behavior firsthand. They noticed how often he approached me, how he kept trying to get my attention, and how uncomfortable I appeared whenever he came too close. Knowing that other people had seen what was happening made me feel less isolated, although it did not make his actions any less upsetting.

By the time the evening was winding down, I was emotionally exhausted. I had arrived expecting nothing more than a fun night with friends, and instead I was left trying to process the fact that a married man with a pregnant wife had apparently decided to pursue me. What bothered me most was not simply that he had flirted with me. It was the complete disregard for his wife, their relationship, and the trust that should exist between people who consider one another friends. I kept thinking about his pregnant wife and wondering what she would feel if she knew what had happened. Would she believe me immediately? Would she think I was exaggerating? Would she become angry with me for bringing this information to her attention at such a sensitive time? I could not predict her reaction, and that uncertainty made the situation more difficult. Nevertheless, I felt that she deserved honesty. I had not encouraged her husband, I had not invited his attention, and I had done nothing wrong by attending a wedding without my partner.

Later that night, he sent me a text message, and seeing his name appear on my phone made my stomach tighten. After everything that had happened, I could not understand why he thought contacting me privately was appropriate. I began wondering whether he intended to apologize, explain himself, or continue the behavior I had already rejected. I also wondered whether he believed that because I had remained polite in public, I might eventually become interested if he kept trying. Whatever his reasoning was, the message made me even more uncomfortable because it suggested that the situation was not necessarily over just because the wedding had ended. I saved the message rather than immediately responding, partly because I wanted time to think and partly because I did not want to give him an opportunity to twist my words. I also informed my partner about the message so that he understood the situation had continued beyond the wedding itself. At that point, I was no longer interested in trying to interpret the husband’s behavior generously. I wanted clear boundaries, and I wanted to make sure there was a record of what had happened.

Now I am left trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation without allowing someone else’s inappropriate behavior to become my burden. I feel strongly that I should tell his wife, but I am also aware that the conversation could be painful, especially because she is expecting a baby. I do not want to cause her unnecessary distress, yet I cannot shake the feeling that keeping this information from her would mean allowing her husband to avoid responsibility for his actions. I am also concerned about the wider friend group. We have so many mutual friends that this situation could easily become a source of gossip, arguments, and divided loyalties. Some people might suggest that I should ignore the incident and move on, while others might insist that she deserves to know everything immediately. Personally, I do not believe I should have to protect a married man from the consequences of hitting on someone else. I rejected him clearly, involved people I trust, and kept evidence of his follow-up message. I am not responsible for the choices he made that night.

So now I am asking for outside perspectives because I genuinely want to make the right decision. Would you tell the pregnant wife directly, preferably in private, and explain exactly what happened, including the message he sent afterward? Would you first give him one opportunity to explain himself, or would that only create another chance for him to manipulate the situation? I am not interested in revenge, and I do not want to turn this into a public spectacle. I simply believe that a woman deserves to make informed decisions about her own marriage, especially when she is preparing to bring a child into the family. At the same time, I know that once I tell her, I cannot control how she reacts or what happens between them afterward. All I can do is be honest about what I witnessed and what I experienced. If you were in my position, would you tell your pregnant friend the truth immediately, or would you handle the situation differently?

Read Story…

Pregnant friend’s husband hits on me…

Alright. The story is long and I can post it all eventually, but I’m here right now for the girlies to tell me what I’m missing….

Big Nutshell: we are at a mutual friend’s wedding, along with his wife, and like thirty of our friends. My partner is at work. Drinks are flowing and vibes are high. He (friends husband) sends his pal to hit on me (weird)… I turn him down.

The husband starts hitting on me. I don’t mean just flirting… I mean asks if I would be interested in hanging out alone and getting to know each other more.

Once I break away from him, I text my partner and tell my inner circle what occurred.

I already know I will tell the wife. For the rest of the night, he hovers around me, brings me drinks, positions himself to be touching me.

My other friends are witness to it all. That night, he texts me a dozen times on Snapchat and sends me his number.

I have a friend screenshot it all, and eventually screenshot it myself when I’m alone and the messages continue.

The next morning I call the wife and tell her. I send the proof. At first it went well, and she believed me. And then she spoke to him about it, and she not only believes his story, but blames me. Cool. Great.

I’m hearing some people have said I should not have told her???? Most say I did the right thing but not all. That was an impossibility to me.

I would want to know. I felt it was my only option.

Do some of you feel the same?

If you think I should not have told her, please explain….

Last night’s Ice cream from Whimsy: Cookie dough with sprinkles and extra cookie dough

My Pregnant Friend’s Husband Hit on Me at a Wedding, and His Behavior Left Me Speechless

I never imagined that attending a mutual friend’s wedding would turn into one of the most uncomfortable and emotionally exhausting experiences I have ever had. I went there expecting to enjoy a beautiful evening with people I had known for years, catch up with friends, celebrate the newlyweds, and perhaps spend a little time dancing and laughing. I had absolutely no reason to expect drama, especially from someone I considered part of my extended circle of friends. However, by the end of the night, I found myself questioning everything I thought I knew about a man who was supposed to be preparing for one of the most important responsibilities of his life. My pregnant friend’s husband had hit on me, and the way he behaved afterward made it impossible for me to pretend the situation was harmless or forgettable.

For some background, my friend and her husband had been together for several years. They were part of a large social circle, and most of us had spent time together at birthdays, dinners, holiday gatherings, and other celebrations. I was not necessarily best friends with her husband, but we had always been friendly whenever we were around each other. I never had any reason to believe he was interested in me, and I certainly never encouraged anything beyond ordinary friendship. His wife was pregnant, and everyone in our group knew that they were preparing to welcome a baby. People often talked about their plans, asked how the pregnancy was progressing, and offered congratulations. From the outside, they seemed like a couple moving toward an exciting new chapter, which made his behavior that night even more difficult to understand.

The wedding was for another mutual friend, and nearly thirty people from our social circle were there. It was the kind of gathering where everyone knew someone else, so conversations flowed easily and people moved between groups throughout the evening. The venue looked beautiful, the music was lively, and the atmosphere became increasingly relaxed as the celebration continued. Drinks were being served, people were laughing, and everyone seemed determined to enjoy themselves. My own partner could not attend because he had to work, so I arrived alone and planned to spend the evening with our friends. I did not see anything unusual about going without him because I trusted the people who would be there and expected the night to be completely ordinary.

When I first arrived, I greeted the couple, congratulated the newlyweds, and spent some time catching up with people I had not seen recently. My pregnant friend’s husband was there with his wife, and everything seemed normal during our initial interactions. We exchanged a few casual words, laughed about something another friend mentioned, and went our separate ways to speak with other guests. Nothing about the conversation suggested that he was planning to behave inappropriately later. I was focused on enjoying the event, taking in the atmosphere, and making the most of a rare evening when so many of our friends were gathered in one place. If someone had told me at that moment what would happen before the night ended, I probably would have laughed in disbelief.

The first uncomfortable interaction happened when one of his friends approached me. Initially, I assumed he simply wanted to chat because we had seen each other at previous gatherings. I responded politely and tried to keep the conversation light, but after a few minutes, his questions started becoming more personal. He seemed unusually interested in whether I was single, how serious my relationship was, and whether my partner was attending the wedding. I thought those questions were strange, but I did not immediately assume there was something suspicious behind them. I answered briefly and attempted to redirect the conversation toward the wedding and our mutual friends. However, he continued flirting in a way that made me increasingly uncomfortable, and I began looking for a natural opportunity to end the interaction.

Eventually, the man made his intentions obvious enough that I no longer felt I could ignore them. He was clearly trying to determine whether I might be interested in him romantically, and his persistence started to irritate me. I decided to be direct without being unnecessarily rude. I told him I was not interested and made it clear that I was in a committed relationship. I did not want to humiliate him in front of everyone, so I kept my response relatively calm and moved away when the conversation ended. I assumed that would settle the matter. People sometimes misread friendliness, and although his approach had been unwelcome, I thought he would accept my answer and leave me alone. What I did not realize was that this interaction might have been connected to something much more disturbing.

Not long afterward, my pregnant friend’s husband began paying attention to me in a way that immediately felt different from our usual interactions. He started appearing wherever I happened to be standing and finding reasons to begin conversations. At first, I thought he might simply be socializing with everyone because it was a wedding and people were moving around constantly. However, I soon noticed that he was making a particular effort to keep me engaged. He would approach when I was talking to someone else, interrupt conversations to ask me questions, and stand closer than I felt was necessary. I tried not to make assumptions, but the uncomfortable feeling I had experienced during the earlier interaction returned. I began wondering why he was suddenly so focused on me when there were so many other people around.

The situation became much more serious when he started flirting with me openly. This was not simply friendly joking or the sort of playful conversation that can happen at a party. His comments became personal, and he seemed interested in finding out whether there was any possibility of something happening between us. I was stunned because I knew he was married, his wife was pregnant, and their relationship was not some distant or unknown fact. She was right there at the same wedding, socializing with people who had known them as a couple for years. I could not understand how he could behave as though pursuing another woman was an acceptable thing to do under those circumstances. I felt uncomfortable, disappointed, and increasingly concerned that he might not stop if I continued trying to handle everything politely.

Then he crossed a line that removed any remaining doubt about his intentions. He asked whether I would be interested in spending time alone with him so that we could get to know each other better. I remember being genuinely shocked by the question. For a moment, I wondered whether I had heard him correctly, because the suggestion was so inappropriate that it seemed almost unbelievable. I looked at him and tried to process what he was actually asking. This was not an accidental compliment or a misunderstood joke. He was proposing a private meeting that sounded like an attempt to explore a romantic or sexual connection behind his wife’s back. I immediately made it clear that I was not interested and had no intention of getting involved with him. I wanted the conversation to end, and I wanted him to understand that my answer was not an invitation to keep trying.

What bothered me most was the complete disregard for his wife. I kept thinking about the fact that she was pregnant and probably believed her husband was supporting her as they prepared for their baby. I wondered whether she knew anything about his behavior when she was not directly involved in a conversation with him. I also wondered whether he had ever behaved this way before or whether the wedding had simply provided an opportunity for him to reveal an attitude he usually kept hidden. I had no evidence about anything beyond what I personally witnessed, so I did not want to invent a larger story in my head. Still, the incident was serious enough on its own. He had approached me, asked to spend time alone together, and ignored the obvious boundaries that should have existed between a married man and his wife’s friend.

Once I managed to get away from him, my first instinct was to tell my partner what had happened. I pulled out my phone and sent a message explaining that the evening had taken an unexpected turn and that my friend’s husband had hit on me. I wanted my partner to hear the story directly from me rather than discover it later through someone else. I also needed to talk to someone who knew me, understood my relationship, and could help me process what had just happened. I was not interested in hiding the situation or making it sound less serious than it was. I had rejected the man clearly, and I wanted my partner to understand that I had done nothing to encourage his behavior. Even though he was at work and could not be there physically, telling him made me feel less alone.

I also told a few people from my inner circle because I did not want to be the only person who knew what was happening. These were friends I trusted, people who would understand why the situation bothered me and who could offer perspective without immediately turning it into gossip. I explained what had happened as accurately as I could, including the initial interaction with the other man and the later proposition from my pregnant friend’s husband. I did not exaggerate or add details I could not support. I simply wanted someone else to know about the incident while the evening was still unfolding. At that point, I had already decided that I would tell his wife. I did not know exactly when or how I would approach her, but keeping the information from her did not feel right.

I was aware that telling her could create a difficult situation, particularly because she was expecting a baby. I did not want to cause her unnecessary pain, embarrass her in front of our friends, or turn the wedding into a public confrontation. At the same time, I struggled with the idea that protecting her feelings in the short term might mean allowing her husband to avoid accountability. She deserved to know what I had experienced, and she deserved the opportunity to decide what that information meant for her own relationship. I reminded myself that I had not created this situation. I had not pursued her husband, encouraged his advances, or asked him to make inappropriate suggestions. He had made his own choices, and I should not have to carry the burden of keeping those choices secret simply because the truth might be painful.

After I rejected him, I expected him to become embarrassed and leave me alone. Instead, his behavior throughout the rest of the evening became even more uncomfortable. He kept hovering around me, appearing beside me when I was talking to other people and finding excuses to stay nearby. At one point, he offered to bring me a drink, even though I had not asked him for anything. I politely declined, hoping that would communicate that I did not want his attention. Rather than taking the hint, he continued trying to interact with me. I began to feel as though he was deliberately testing how much attention I would tolerate. The fact that I had already rejected his suggestion should have been enough to make him stop, but he seemed unwilling to respect the boundary I had set.

His physical behavior was another reason I became increasingly uncomfortable. He repeatedly positioned himself close enough that there was unnecessary contact between us or that I had to move to avoid touching him. I cannot say with certainty what he intended every time he stood near me, but the pattern made me uneasy, especially after his earlier proposition. I started paying attention to where he was standing and whether he was likely to approach when I moved between groups. Instead of enjoying the wedding, I found myself thinking about how to avoid being alone with him and how to make sure other people were nearby. That was a frustrating feeling because I had done nothing wrong. I had attended a social event to celebrate a friend’s wedding, yet I was the one adjusting my behavior because a married man had decided to ignore basic boundaries.

Fortunately, I was not the only person who noticed what was happening. Several friends witnessed him repeatedly approaching me, bringing me drinks, and trying to position himself close to me. They saw that I was not encouraging the attention and that I seemed increasingly uncomfortable. Their presence mattered because I knew there was a possibility that he might later try to describe the situation differently. I did not want the incident to become a matter of his word against mine, especially within a social group where people had known each other for years. I was grateful that other people had observed his conduct independently. I did not ask them to take sides or confront him on my behalf. I simply felt reassured knowing that I was not imagining the pattern and that other people had seen enough to understand why I was upset.

As the evening continued, I tried to focus on the wedding rather than allow him to ruin the entire night. I spoke with friends, congratulated the newlyweds again, and made an effort to act normally. However, it was difficult to relax completely because I kept wondering whether he would approach me again. Every time I saw him moving through the room, I became aware of his location. I hated that his behavior had made me feel this way at an event where I should have felt safe and comfortable. I also felt angry with myself for even questioning whether I was overreacting. If another woman had told me that her friend’s husband had asked her to meet alone and then continued hovering around her after being rejected, I would not have told her to ignore it. I would have understood immediately why she felt uncomfortable.

At the same time, I did not want to make assumptions about his marriage beyond what I knew. I had no idea what conversations he and his wife had privately, whether they were experiencing difficulties, or what their relationship looked like when nobody else was around. None of those unknown details changed the fact that he had made an inappropriate advance toward me. Even if their marriage was going through a difficult period, that would not make it acceptable for him to pursue his wife’s friend without her knowledge. If he was unhappy, he had options that did not involve putting me in this position. He could communicate honestly with his wife, seek help for their relationship, or make decisions about his future without involving someone who had never expressed interest in him. I did not need to understand every detail of his personal life to recognize that his behavior had crossed a boundary.

As the wedding began winding down, I felt emotionally drained. I had spent much of the evening trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation while also deciding what I should do next. I wanted to leave and put some distance between myself and the entire incident, but I also knew that walking away would not necessarily resolve the problem. I still had to decide how to tell my friend, whether to show her any messages, and how to handle the possibility that the husband might contact me afterward. I did not want to make a dramatic announcement in front of everyone, and I certainly did not want to confront him while emotions were high and people had been drinking. I thought it would be better to wait until I could speak calmly and privately with the people directly involved.

Then, later that night, he sent me a text message. Seeing his name appear on my phone made my stomach tighten because I had hoped that the uncomfortable interaction would end when we left the wedding. I did not immediately know what to expect from the message. Part of me wondered whether he was going to apologize for his behavior and acknowledge that he had crossed a line. Another part of me worried that he might continue pursuing me or try to make the situation seem harmless. After everything that had happened, I was not comfortable engaging in a private conversation with him. I decided to read the message carefully and preserve it rather than respond impulsively. I wanted to think through the situation before taking any action that might complicate matters further.

The message made me even more determined to maintain a clear boundary. I did not want to create an opportunity for him to suggest that I had encouraged his attention or that we had some kind of private understanding. Whatever he believed about the situation, my own position was straightforward: I was in a committed relationship, I was not interested in him, and I did not want him contacting me in a way that continued the inappropriate interaction. I also told my partner about the message so he would know that the incident had not simply ended at the wedding. I did not want secrecy to become part of this situation, and I had no intention of entertaining an ongoing conversation with someone whose advances I had already rejected. Preserving the message also meant I could explain what happened accurately if his wife asked for more information.

One of my biggest concerns was how my pregnant friend might react when she learned the truth. I genuinely did not know whether she would believe me immediately, become angry, feel embarrassed, or ask why I had not told her sooner. We had a friendship that mattered to me, and I did not want this incident to destroy it. However, I also knew that withholding the truth could create an even worse situation later. If she eventually discovered what had happened through another person, she might wonder why I had kept it from her. She could reasonably feel that I had denied her information she deserved to know. I did not want to make decisions on her behalf by assuming that she was too vulnerable to hear something painful. Being pregnant did not mean she should be denied the truth about her own marriage.

I also thought carefully about how to approach the conversation without turning it into a public spectacle. My intention was not to announce the incident in the group chat, embarrass her at a gathering, or encourage our friends to gossip about her relationship. I wanted to speak with her privately, explain what had happened in a calm and factual way, and allow her time to process the information. I planned to tell her what he had said, how I responded, what he did afterward, and that he had contacted me later that night. If she wanted to see the message, I could show it to her. I would also explain that other people had witnessed his behavior, although I would not pressure anyone to become involved unless it was necessary. I wanted her to understand that I was telling her because I respected her, not because I wanted to hurt her.

I knew there was a possibility that the husband would deny everything or try to minimize his actions. He might claim that he was joking, that he had been drinking, or that I had misunderstood his intentions. I could not predict what he would say, and I did not want to spend hours preparing arguments against every possible excuse. I could only describe what I personally experienced and provide the evidence I had. I also knew that some people in our social circle might prefer to stay out of the situation because they did not want to become involved in conflict between a married couple. While I could understand that instinct, I hoped nobody would confuse avoiding drama with pretending nothing had happened. I was not asking our friends to decide the future of their marriage. I was simply trying to handle an uncomfortable situation honestly and responsibly.

My partner’s reaction was important to me because I wanted us to be on the same page before I spoke with my friend. I had told him what happened as soon as I could, and I wanted him to understand that my intention was to protect my boundaries and be honest with the people involved. I did not want the incident to become a source of tension in my own relationship, particularly because I had not done anything to invite it. I hoped he would recognize that I had handled the situation appropriately by rejecting the advances, informing him, and avoiding further private engagement with the husband. At the same time, I knew that everyone processes unexpected situations differently, so I wanted us to have an honest conversation about the best way forward. I did not want to make a decision in anger, but I also did not want fear of conflict to stop me from doing what I believed was right.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was not responsible for protecting the husband from the consequences of his choices. I had not created the awkwardness, and I had not put his marriage at risk. He had approached me and asked whether I would be interested in spending time alone with him, despite knowing that he was married and that his wife was expecting their child. I had rejected him, yet he continued hovering around me and making me uncomfortable. I did not think it was fair that I should have to carry the emotional burden of deciding whether his wife deserved to know. That responsibility existed because of his actions, not mine. I could be considerate about how I communicated the information without accepting responsibility for the fact that the information was painful.

I also knew that telling my friend would not necessarily lead to an immediate or satisfying outcome. She might need time before deciding what she believed or what she wanted to do about her marriage. She might choose to confront him, seek counseling, ask for more information, or decide that she did not want to discuss the matter with me any further. I would have to respect that she had her own feelings and choices, even if her reaction was different from what I expected. My goal was not to force her to leave her husband or tell her how to handle her pregnancy and relationship. I simply wanted to make sure she had accurate information about something that directly involved her marriage. Once I had told her the truth, the next steps would belong to her. I could support her as a friend, but I could not make those decisions for her.

At this point, I am still trying to work out the best way to move forward while protecting my own peace and respecting my friend. I want to be honest, but I also want to avoid unnecessary cruelty or public humiliation. I do not want to exaggerate what happened, speculate about his motives, or turn one incident into claims about his entire character. I know what I saw, what I heard, how I responded, and how he behaved afterward. That is enough for me to explain why the incident was serious. I also want to make sure I maintain clear boundaries with him from now on. I have no interest in being alone with him, exchanging private messages, or allowing him to present the situation as some kind of mutual flirtation. If he contacts me again, I intend to keep my response brief and make it clear that I do not want further inappropriate contact.

So, I am asking for honest outside perspectives because I want to know whether there is anything important I am overlooking. Would you tell your pregnant friend directly and privately, explaining exactly what happened and showing her the message he sent afterward? Would you speak to him first, or would that simply give him an opportunity to prepare an excuse before she learns the truth? I am not trying to punish him, ruin his marriage, or turn our mutual friends against him. I simply believe that his wife deserves to know what happened so she can make her own decisions with all the relevant information. I rejected him clearly, informed my partner, told trusted friends, and kept a record of his follow-up message. I do not believe I should have to protect his secret at the expense of my own comfort or my friend’s ability to understand what is happening in her relationship. If you were in my position, would you tell her everything immediately, or would you handle the situation differently?