Woman Pulls Out All The Stops On Copying Her Bestie, Comes To “Stealing” Even Her Medical Condition

I never thought having a best friend who admired me would eventually make me feel like I was being watched instead of supported. My best friend and I had known each other for years, and for a long time, I genuinely considered her one of the closest people in my life. We had similar interests, laughed at the same things, and often talked about everything from relationships and careers to clothes and personal goals. At first, I actually found it flattering when she started buying similar outfits or becoming interested in the same hobbies as me. I assumed it was normal because friends naturally influence each other. If I mentioned a restaurant I loved, she might try it. If I recommended a book, she would read it. If I bought something she liked, she might eventually get something similar. None of that bothered me because imitation seemed harmless when it was occasional. The problem was that it slowly stopped being occasional. It started happening with almost everything in my life, and eventually, I began feeling like she wasn’t simply inspired by me anymore. It felt like she was trying to recreate my entire identity.

At first, the copying was so subtle that I didn’t even want to acknowledge it. I changed my hairstyle, and a few weeks later, she got almost the exact same haircut. I started wearing a particular style of clothing, and suddenly she was buying nearly identical outfits. When I mentioned a hobby I had recently picked up, she became interested in it too and started talking about it as if she had always loved it. Even the way I decorated my apartment seemed to influence her. She would visit, compliment something, and then later send me pictures of a nearly identical item she had purchased. Whenever I jokingly pointed out the similarities, she would laugh and say that we simply had the same taste. I tried to believe her because I didn’t want to create unnecessary tension. Friends are allowed to like the same things, after all. But eventually, it became difficult to ignore how specific some of the similarities were. It wasn’t just that we liked the same colors or shops. She would copy phrases I used, adopt interests immediately after I mentioned them, and sometimes even repeat stories or opinions that I had recently shared with her. Still, I kept telling myself I was probably overthinking it because I valued our friendship.

Things became much more uncomfortable when she started copying bigger life decisions. Whenever I made a change in my life, she seemed to follow soon afterward. If I talked about taking a particular type of vacation, she would suddenly make plans for the same kind of trip. When I changed my career goals, she became interested in the same field. When I started exercising regularly, she suddenly joined the same type of class and asked me for all the details about my routine. I tried to be supportive because I didn’t want to become the kind of person who assumed everything was about them. But then she started comparing our lives constantly. She would point out that we had the same clothes, similar homes, similar interests, and even similar plans for the future. Instead of feeling like two friends with things in common, I began feeling as though she was keeping some kind of score. Whenever something positive happened to me, she would quickly tell me about something similar happening to her. If I received praise at work, she would mention a compliment she had received. If I bought something expensive, she would tell me about something she had recently purchased. I began wondering whether she actually wanted to be my friend or whether she simply wanted to become a version of me.

The situation reached another level when I developed a medical condition that significantly affected my daily life. It wasn’t something I had chosen or wanted attention for, and dealing with it was emotionally difficult. I had shared the news with my best friend because I trusted her and believed she would be someone I could talk to during a difficult period. She initially acted concerned and asked questions about how I was feeling. I appreciated that because I genuinely needed emotional support. However, shortly afterward, she began making comments that made me uncomfortable. She started saying that she was experiencing some of the same symptoms. At first, I didn’t question it because symptoms can overlap between different conditions, and I wasn’t going to accuse someone of pretending to be sick. But then the similarities became strangely specific. She began using some of the same terminology I had learned from my doctors, talking about the same triggers, and describing experiences almost word-for-word like the ones I had told her about. When I mentioned that I had an appointment coming up, she suddenly had an appointment around the same time. I tried to stay compassionate because health issues are serious, but deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was another form of copying.

What really disturbed me was when she started presenting my medical condition almost as if it were part of her own identity. She would bring it up in conversations with mutual friends, sometimes before I had even had a chance to talk about what I was going through. She would say things like, “You know how difficult this condition can be,” even though she had never been diagnosed with the exact condition I had been dealing with. When people expressed concern for me, she would sometimes redirect the conversation toward her own supposed symptoms. I began feeling like something deeply personal had been taken from me. This wasn’t a hairstyle or a pair of shoes anymore. My health was something I had struggled with privately, and I didn’t want it turned into another point of comparison. I finally confronted her and told her that I had noticed the pattern and that it was making me uncomfortable. I was careful with my words because I didn’t want to accuse her of faking an illness without evidence. I simply told her that I needed some space and that my medical situation wasn’t something I wanted compared or copied. Instead of understanding why I felt hurt, she became defensive and accused me of being jealous and controlling.

After that conversation, our friendship changed dramatically. She told mutual friends that I was acting strangely and that I believed I was somehow special because I had a health problem. Hearing that completely broke my trust because that wasn’t what I had said at all. I didn’t think I was special because I was sick. In fact, I wished I didn’t have to deal with the condition in the first place. I simply wanted one part of my life to remain mine without feeling like someone was following behind me and recreating it. Some of our mutual friends defended her and said that maybe we simply had similar personalities and interests. Others admitted privately that they had noticed the copying too but had been afraid to say anything. One friend even told me that she had started noticing it years earlier but assumed I was comfortable with it because I never complained. That made me realize how long I had been ignoring my own discomfort just to avoid conflict. I had convinced myself that being a good friend meant tolerating everything, even when the friendship was beginning to make me feel uncomfortable and insecure.

Eventually, I decided that I couldn’t control what she wore, what hobbies she pursued, or what she claimed about her own experiences, but I could control how much access she had to my personal life. I stopped sharing every detail about my plans, appointments, purchases, and future goals. I became more private and stopped giving her information that she could immediately turn into another comparison. Some people told me I was being too harsh, while others said I should have distanced myself much sooner. I still don’t know whether she consciously copied me or whether she genuinely admired me so much that she unconsciously adopted parts of my life. Maybe there was insecurity involved, or maybe she simply struggled with knowing who she was independently. But regardless of the reason, the effect on me was the same. I no longer felt comfortable being completely myself around someone who constantly seemed to mirror me. The strangest part is that I don’t actually care if she has the same clothes, hobbies, or even similar goals. What hurt was feeling like my personal experiences, especially something as serious as my health, were being turned into a competition. Looking back, I think the biggest lesson was that friendship should allow two people to admire each other without either person losing their own identity. I can understand being inspired by someone, but there is a point where inspiration becomes imitation, and when that happens repeatedly, it can completely change the way a friendship feels.

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My (25F) friend (25F) copies me so much that she even wants to have the same disease as I

I (25F) have a long-term friendship with this girl (25F) and recently, she’s out of control.

She dresses the same, gets the same haircut, puts on makeup exactly the way I do, has an unhealthy obsession with my fiancee (always wants to meet up, wants to go to the cities he works in because she has this “innocent” curiosity about those cities even though she has never showed interest before, always wants to know what we’re up to, asks way too many personal questions about our relationship), buys whatever I buy, texts exactly like me, goes to my favorite places and acts like she discovered them in the first place to other people, befriends my every friend even though she expressed she didn’t like them before.

I’ve recently noticed that she’s also always in a race with me: She smiles or laughs involuntarily when I make a mistake, doesn’t celebrate my wins and constantly tries to one-up me.

Recently, I have been diagnosed with a very rare autoimmune condition and now have to use medicine with heavy side effects, life has been so hard for me. She’s convinced she also has this one in a million disease and repeatedly tells me so, plans doctor appointments to get her “diagnosis” and lists her “symptoms”.

Honestly, I’m convinced she has a psychiatric condition or a personality disorder. I’ve read and heard many stories about people with a friend who copies them but never saw one with a friend even wanting to have a debilitating disease just because they have it. I suspect it might be NPD.

This person also resents me if I hang out with my friends without her and don’t want to share my personal life with her. I think she feels entitled to my time and friendship.

I want to cut her off or distance myself from her. But I’m scared of what lengths she can go to if I were to do so. I’m afraid she might start a smear campaign about me and try to ruin my life by exposing my secrets. Every post I’ve read said that these people do so when cut off. I have so much on my plate right now and don’t want to deal with this.

My question is this: How do I deal with this person without taking any damage?

“When My Best Friend Started Copying My Life”

I am a 25-year-old woman, and I have been best friends with another 25-year-old woman for several years. When we first became friends, I genuinely believed we had one of those rare friendships where two people could completely understand each other. We had similar personalities, similar senses of humor, and many of the same interests, so it never bothered me when we occasionally liked the same things. In fact, I thought it was fun. We would go shopping together, recommend shows to each other, try new restaurants, and sometimes even buy similar clothes. I never saw any of that as copying because friends naturally influence each other. If I discovered something I loved, I was happy when she enjoyed it too. For years, I considered her one of the most important people in my life. That is why it has been so difficult to admit that our friendship has slowly become exhausting. What started as harmless similarities eventually turned into something that made me feel like she was constantly trying to recreate my life.

The first signs were so small that I didn’t think much of them. I remember getting a haircut that I was particularly excited about because I had wanted to try that style for months. A couple of weeks later, she got almost the exact same haircut. I laughed about it when she showed me and told her that apparently we were becoming twins. She laughed too, and we moved on. Then I bought a particular style of jacket that I had spent a long time searching for. Not long afterward, she sent me a picture of herself wearing the same jacket in the same color. Again, I didn’t care. There was nothing wrong with owning the same jacket. Then she started asking where I bought certain things and what products I used. I was always happy to tell her because I didn’t see any reason to keep ordinary information from my best friend. Looking back, I realize I kept dismissing each individual incident because none of them seemed serious enough to justify confrontation. The problem was that there were eventually so many incidents that the pattern became impossible to ignore.

She started copying more than just my appearance. Whenever I became interested in something, she suddenly became interested in it too. I started reading a particular author, and she immediately bought several of the same books. I joined a fitness class because I wanted a new routine, and within a few weeks she was asking me about the schedule and saying she was thinking about joining the same place. I started experimenting with a certain style of home decoration, and shortly afterward she showed me pictures of her apartment, which suddenly looked remarkably similar to mine. Even the restaurants I discovered became places she wanted to visit. At first, I honestly found it flattering. I thought maybe I had good taste and she trusted my judgment. I would even joke that I was her personal trendsetter. She would laugh and tell me that I always found the best things. But eventually the jokes stopped feeling funny. It started to feel like she wasn’t simply taking inspiration from me. She was waiting to see what I did and then doing almost exactly the same thing.

The biggest change happened when she started copying my personal goals. I had always been open with her about what I wanted from life. We talked about careers, relationships, travel, finances, and the kind of future we hoped to build. I told her about a professional goal I had been working toward for a long time. It was something I had researched extensively and spent months preparing for. A few weeks after I told her about it, she announced that she had decided to pursue the exact same goal. I was surprised but supportive. I told her that if she genuinely wanted the same thing, I would be happy to help her. But then she started asking me for every detail about how I was doing it. She wanted to know what courses I took, which people I contacted, what applications I submitted, and even what I planned to do next. I answered some of her questions because she was my friend, but eventually it felt less like sharing advice and more like giving her a blueprint for my life. Whenever I made progress, she seemed to make the same move shortly afterward.

Another strange thing was the way she began copying my expressions and mannerisms. She started using phrases that I had always used, including little jokes and expressions that were very specific to me. At first, I thought it was coincidence. Then mutual friends began noticing it too. One friend jokingly asked whether we had started sharing a vocabulary. We laughed, but I felt uncomfortable because I had already noticed it myself. My friend didn’t seem embarrassed. Instead, she said that we simply spent so much time together that we naturally started talking alike. That explanation made sense on the surface. Couples and close friends often pick up each other’s habits. But it wasn’t just language. She began telling stories in the same style I did, making similar jokes, and even adopting some of my reactions during conversations. Sometimes I would say something and she would repeat the same point a few seconds later as if she had come up with it herself. I didn’t want to become paranoid, so I kept telling myself that I was imagining things.

Eventually, the copying became so obvious that I started testing myself by deliberately keeping certain things private. I stopped telling her about every purchase I made or every new thing I was interested in. I didn’t announce plans until they were already happening. I even became careful about posting certain things online because I knew she followed everything I shared. Surprisingly, the copying decreased whenever she had less information. That was when I realized how much of it was connected to what I told her. She wasn’t randomly arriving at the same decisions. She seemed to be taking information from my life and using it to guide her own. I didn’t know whether she was doing it intentionally, but the result was still unsettling. I began feeling like I couldn’t freely share things with my own best friend because everything I revealed might eventually appear in her life too.

Then something happened that completely changed how I viewed the situation. I developed a medical condition that had a significant impact on my daily life. I won’t go into private medical details, but it was a difficult period for me. I had appointments, tests, medication changes, and a lot of uncertainty. It wasn’t something I wanted attention for, and honestly, I found it emotionally draining. Because she was my best friend, I trusted her enough to tell her what was happening. I didn’t tell many people, so I thought she would understand that this was personal. She initially reacted exactly as I expected a close friend to react. She asked if I was okay, offered to accompany me to an appointment if I needed someone, and told me that I could call her whenever I felt overwhelmed. I appreciated that support because I genuinely needed it. At that point, I never imagined that my health situation would somehow become another part of the copying problem.

A few weeks after I told her about my diagnosis, she began saying that she was experiencing some of the same symptoms. I didn’t immediately think anything strange about it. Different medical conditions can cause similar symptoms, and I would never assume someone was lying about their health. I told her that if she was concerned, she should speak with a doctor. She agreed. But as time went on, she started describing her symptoms in ways that sounded extremely similar to the experiences I had already shared with her. She mentioned the same types of triggers I had discussed, used some of the same terminology my doctor had explained to me, and even started talking about how difficult it was to deal with uncertainty. I tried not to judge her. I reminded myself that she could genuinely be experiencing something similar. But because of everything that had happened before, I couldn’t help noticing the pattern.

Then she started bringing my medical condition into conversations with other people. We would be around mutual friends, and she would mention her own health concerns before I had even said anything about mine. Sometimes people would ask me how I was doing, and she would immediately add that she understood because she was “going through the same thing.” I found myself becoming uncomfortable every time it happened. My medical situation was not an accessory or a hobby. It was something that had caused me genuine fear and anxiety. I didn’t want it to become another similarity between us that people could comment on. I especially didn’t want other people thinking that we were somehow competing over who had the more difficult experience. I never wanted attention because of my condition, and I certainly didn’t want to be placed in a situation where I had to defend whether my experience was real or serious.

One day, I finally decided that I needed to talk to her. I didn’t accuse her of faking anything because I knew that would be unfair and potentially damaging. Instead, I explained how the constant similarities had been making me feel. I told her that I had noticed she often adopted things after I shared them with her, and that the situation had become especially uncomfortable since my health problems began. I told her that I didn’t want my medical condition to become something we compared with each other. I also said that if she was genuinely experiencing symptoms, I wanted her to get proper medical advice rather than relying on what I had told her. I thought approaching the conversation calmly would help. Instead, she became extremely defensive. She told me that I was obsessed with thinking everything was about me. She said that I was acting as though I owned certain clothes, hobbies, interests, and even medical symptoms.

Her response shocked me because I had never claimed ownership over any of those things. I wasn’t saying that she couldn’t like the same clothes or enjoy the same hobbies. I was saying that the constant pattern had made me uncomfortable. I explained that there was a difference between having things in common and repeatedly following someone’s choices immediately after they make them. She told me that I was jealous because she was becoming more successful and that I wanted to keep her from improving herself. That wasn’t true at all. I wanted my friend to succeed. I wanted her to be happy. What I didn’t want was to feel like every part of my life was being replicated. When I mentioned the medical situation again, she became even more upset and accused me of believing that I was the only person allowed to have health problems. At that point, I realized we were having two completely different conversations.

After that argument, I decided to create some distance. I didn’t end the friendship immediately because we had so much history together. Instead, I stopped sharing personal information. I stopped sending her pictures of things I bought, stopped discussing my future plans in detail, and stopped telling her about every appointment or personal development in my life. I wanted to see what would happen if I simply removed the information she had been using to follow my choices. At first, everything seemed calmer. Then I noticed that she started asking increasingly specific questions. She wanted to know what I was doing at work, where I was going on weekends, what I was buying, and what my future plans were. When I gave vague answers, she seemed irritated. It made me realize that she had become accustomed to having access to every detail of my life.

Eventually, some mutual friends started noticing the tension between us. One of them asked me privately what had happened because my friend had apparently told people that I was “acting superior.” I explained the situation without exaggerating anything. I told them that I didn’t know whether my friend was intentionally copying me, but the pattern had become overwhelming. To my surprise, one friend admitted that she had noticed it too. She said she had always assumed I was comfortable with it because I never complained. Another friend mentioned that my best friend had recently started dressing almost exactly like me. Hearing this from other people made me feel both validated and sad. I wasn’t happy that others agreed with me. I actually wished they had told me I was imagining everything because that would have made the situation easier.

The situation became even more awkward when my friend started posting online about how people should be happy when their friends “follow their lead.” She never mentioned my name, but the timing made it obvious that the posts were directed at me. Some of the posts were about friendship, individuality, and people being insecure when others succeed. I considered responding, but I decided against it. I didn’t want a private friendship problem to become a public argument. Instead, I continued keeping my distance. I realized that every time I tried to explain myself, the conversation somehow became about whether I was jealous or controlling. There was no room for her to acknowledge that her behavior might have made me uncomfortable.

A few weeks later, she contacted me and asked why I had become so distant. She said she missed the way we used to talk and wanted our friendship back. I told her that I missed the friendship too, but I couldn’t pretend nothing had happened. I explained that I needed boundaries. I needed some parts of my life to remain private, especially my health. She said she understood, but then asked whether I was still going to tell her about my medical appointments. I said that I would decide what I was comfortable sharing. She seemed disappointed by that answer. I could tell that she wanted things to go back to the way they were before, when she had complete access to my life. But I no longer felt safe giving her that level of access.

Eventually, she admitted that she had always admired me. She said she thought I was confident, stylish, organized, and good at making decisions. She told me that sometimes she didn’t know what she wanted, so seeing what worked for me made her feel more certain about her own choices. That explanation actually made me feel sad rather than angry. I could understand insecurity. I could understand looking up to a friend. But I told her that admiration shouldn’t require someone else to constantly copy another person’s identity. I also told her that if she genuinely had medical symptoms, she needed to treat them as her own health concerns rather than comparing them to mine. She became quiet and eventually said she hadn’t realized how much her behavior affected me.

For a while, things improved. She stopped copying some of the obvious things and became more careful about asking before using certain ideas I had shared with her. Our conversations became less intense, and I started feeling more comfortable around her again. However, the friendship was never exactly the same. Once trust has been damaged, it takes time to rebuild. I found myself thinking twice before sharing something personal. Even when she did something completely normal, a small part of me wondered whether she would eventually copy it. I didn’t like feeling that way because it made me realize how much resentment had built up inside me. I didn’t want to spend every interaction analyzing her behavior.

The biggest lesson for me was that I had also contributed to the problem by ignoring my discomfort for so long. Every time she copied something, I laughed it off. Every time she asked for details about my life, I gave them freely. Every time I felt uncomfortable, I told myself that being a good friend meant not making a big deal out of it. But boundaries don’t become less important simply because you care about someone. I should have told her much earlier that some things were beginning to bother me. Maybe the situation wouldn’t have escalated if I had been honest from the beginning. Instead, I waited until I was already frustrated and resentful, which made the eventual confrontation much harder.

I also realized that the medical situation affected me differently because health isn’t something I could simply replace or change. If someone copies your hairstyle, you can laugh about it. If they buy the same shoes, you can shrug. If they develop the same hobby, you can still enjoy it together. But when someone appears to adopt the same serious personal struggle immediately after you confide in them, it can feel deeply unsettling, even if you cannot prove their intentions. I never wanted to accuse my friend of pretending to be sick. I still don’t know exactly what she experienced medically, and I don’t think it is my place to diagnose her. What I do know is that I needed emotional space to deal with my own situation without constantly comparing it to someone else’s.

Our friendship is currently in a strange place. We still talk, but we aren’t as close as we used to be. She has apologized for making me feel like I couldn’t have anything that was just mine, and I have apologized for keeping my frustrations bottled up until they exploded. I don’t know whether we will eventually become close again. Part of me hopes we can because we shared so many good years together. Another part of me wonders whether the friendship has simply run its course. Sometimes people grow in different directions, and forcing an old friendship to remain exactly the same can cause more damage than accepting that things have changed.

I don’t think my friend is necessarily a terrible person. I think she may have struggled with insecurity and identity for a long time, and perhaps she genuinely believed that copying someone she admired was a form of connection. But good intentions don’t automatically erase the impact of someone’s behavior. I can understand why she did some of the things she did without accepting how they made me feel. At the same time, I have learned that I don’t need to prove that she intentionally copied me in order to set boundaries. I don’t need to win an argument about who was right. If a relationship consistently makes me uncomfortable, I am allowed to step back.

Looking back, I wish I had trusted my instincts sooner. There were countless moments when I felt uncomfortable but immediately convinced myself that I was being dramatic. I worried that saying something would make me look insecure or selfish. Now I understand that there is a difference between being insecure and recognizing a repeated pattern that genuinely affects your peace of mind. Friends can share interests, clothing styles, hobbies, goals, and even similar experiences. None of those things automatically mean someone is copying you. But when the similarities become constant and one person begins feeling like they are losing their individuality, it is worth having an honest conversation.

For now, I am focusing on rebuilding my own sense of privacy and independence. I still want friendships where people can inspire one another, celebrate each other’s successes, and share experiences. But I also want friendships where both people have their own identities. I don’t want to feel like I have to hide parts of my life just to prevent someone from copying them. At the same time, I don’t want to become someone who assumes bad intentions every time another person makes a similar choice. I am trying to find that balance. Maybe the healthiest outcome is not deciding whether she “stole” my life or whether I was simply overreacting. Maybe the healthier lesson is that our friendship reached a point where we both needed stronger boundaries and more individuality.

The part I still struggle with is the medical situation. I don’t know what was happening with her, and I don’t want to make accusations about something I cannot prove. Maybe she really did develop similar symptoms. Maybe she was unconsciously relating her experiences to mine because my situation had made her more aware of her own health. Or maybe she genuinely had become so accustomed to following me that she did the same thing with something deeply personal. I may never know the complete truth. What I do know is that the experience changed how I see our friendship. I can forgive someone for copying my clothes. I can laugh about copied hobbies. But when something as serious as my health becomes part of a pattern that has already made me uncomfortable, it crosses a personal boundary for me.

In the end, I don’t think the real issue was a haircut, a jacket, a hobby, a career goal, or even a medical condition. The real issue was that I stopped feeling like my best friend was walking beside me and started feeling like she was constantly walking behind me, waiting to see where I went next. Friendship should involve inspiration, but it should also involve individuality. We should be able to admire someone without trying to become them. We should be able to share our experiences without turning them into competitions. And most importantly, we should be able to tell our friends when something hurts without being accused of jealousy simply for having boundaries. I still care about her, and I still hope she finds confidence in who she is. But I have finally learned that protecting my own identity and privacy doesn’t make me a bad friend. Sometimes, creating distance isn’t about punishing someone. Sometimes, it’s simply about finding yourself again.