Woman Takes Matters Into Her Own Hands After HR Fails To Stop Her Coworkers’ Bullying

Twenty-nine-year-old Megan had always considered herself a hardworking and dependable employee. She had been working at the same company for almost four years and had built a reputation for meeting deadlines, helping new employees, and staying professional even when workplace stress became overwhelming. She generally enjoyed her job and had a good relationship with most of her colleagues. However, everything changed when a small group of coworkers began making repeated comments about her appearance. Megan was naturally slim, and instead of treating that as a normal physical characteristic, several coworkers began using it as a source of jokes. At first, she tried to ignore them, assuming they would eventually get bored. But the comments became more frequent, more personal, and increasingly embarrassing. What started as occasional teasing slowly turned into something Megan dreaded every morning when she walked into the office.
The bullying often happened in front of other employees. Coworkers would make comments about how little she supposedly ate, ask whether she was “actually going to finish” her lunch, or make jokes about her clothes looking too loose. Sometimes they would comment on her body when she walked into the break room, then laugh when she looked uncomfortable. Megan repeatedly told them that the comments were not funny and asked them to stop. Instead of apologizing, they accused her of being too sensitive. One coworker even told her that if she did not like the jokes, she should simply “eat more.” Megan began avoiding the break room and eating lunch at her desk because she did not want another embarrassing interaction. She also started changing the way she dressed because she was worried that anything she wore would become another reason for them to make comments.
Eventually, Megan decided that ignoring the behavior was no longer working. She began documenting the incidents, writing down dates, times, what was said, and who witnessed each interaction. She saved messages when inappropriate comments were made through workplace communication channels and carefully kept track of how often the behavior occurred. After collecting several weeks of evidence, she scheduled a meeting with HR. Megan expected the department to take the situation seriously, especially because she had clear examples and witnesses. Instead, the HR representative seemed surprisingly dismissive. He told her that workplace friendships could sometimes involve joking and suggested that she try not to take the comments personally. Megan explained that she had already asked the coworkers to stop, but the behavior continued. The HR representative promised to “keep an eye on things” but did not formally file the complaint.
What made the situation even more frustrating was Megan’s discovery that the HR representative was particularly close to one of the coworkers involved in the bullying. They often had lunch together and socialized outside the office. Megan began wondering whether her complaint was being ignored because HR did not want to create problems for a friend. She asked directly whether her complaint could be documented officially, but the HR representative told her there was no need to make the situation “more serious than it was.” Megan left the meeting feeling humiliated and powerless. She had followed the company’s expected process, yet the person responsible for helping employees seemed more interested in protecting his friend than addressing her concerns.
The bullying continued after her HR meeting, and in some ways, it became worse. The coworkers seemed to realize that no immediate consequences were coming. They made comments whenever Megan entered the office and occasionally joked that she had “reported them.” One person even asked whether Megan was going to run to HR again. She realized that the coworkers knew about her complaint, which made her suspect that someone in HR had discussed it with them. Megan became increasingly uncomfortable and began questioning whether she could continue working in an environment where she felt unsupported. Rather than confronting the group emotionally, however, she decided to take a more careful approach. She continued documenting everything and began researching the company’s formal complaint procedures, employee handbook, and escalation options.
Megan eventually discovered that employees could submit workplace complaints through a separate compliance channel rather than relying only on their direct HR representative. She prepared a detailed written report that included the dates of incidents, copies of messages, names of witnesses, and information about her previous conversation with HR. She also explained that she believed there could be a conflict of interest because the HR representative appeared to have a close personal relationship with one of the employees involved. Instead of making accusations she could not prove, Megan focused on the facts and requested that someone outside the immediate HR team review the matter. This time, her complaint was taken seriously. A higher-level employee contacted her and explained that the company would conduct a formal review. Several coworkers were interviewed, and some confirmed that they had witnessed the comments.
The investigation eventually resulted in consequences for the employees who had repeatedly bullied Megan. The company reminded the entire department about its workplace conduct policies, and the employees involved were formally warned about their behavior. The HR representative was also questioned about why Megan’s initial complaint had not been properly documented and why information appeared to have been shared with the people she had complained about. Megan did not get every outcome she wanted, but she finally felt that someone had listened. She learned an important lesson from the experience: speaking up once is not always enough when the first person responsible for handling a complaint fails to act. Megan had initially felt powerless because HR dismissed her concerns, but she eventually realized that she could advocate for herself by documenting the behavior, using the company’s escalation procedures, and refusing to let embarrassment silence her. She did not take matters into her own hands by retaliating against her coworkers; instead, she took control by making sure the problem reached people who were actually willing to address it.

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My [24F] coworkers are ‘bullying’ me over my weight and eating, and HR refuse to do anything.
Throwaway because I feel pathetic writing this, and I’m not sure whether I’m completely overreacting or not. Sorry about the horrible grammar/spelling/longness.
I’ve worked for a helpline for the past five years. It’s a small, specialised helpline, so there’s only around 12-15 people on the floor at once, plus six office staff (HR manager + assistant, admin and payroll staff). Due to timetabling, we take our breaks in our teams – In my team there’s myself, Julie [23f], Sally [35ish] and Joan [45ish]. Julie and Joan are overweight, while Sally is very obese. Joan has been with the company since the beginning, and is besties with the HR manager.
About six months ago I started to bring a packed lunch, to save money, rather buying from the fast food place next door to take back to the canteen. Ever since I stopped going with my team to buy lunch, they’ve started some sort of weird vendetta against my weight and eating habits. It started off by commenting on my lunch – typically pasta or meat/fish, rice & veg. Every day they started making snidey remarks about what I was eating. They’d say that it looked “disgusting/how they don’t know why I’m eating that rabbit food crap/ rather be fat than starve themselves” etc. They also started to say how I thought I was better than them/deliberately trying to make them feel bad, despite me never ever mentioning their weight or diets.
I’d tell them that I enjoyed that dish/that I wasn’t on a diet. Despite this they’d still make comments about starving myself/being a rabbit, even after seeing me eat. They’d also make comments about how lucky ‘you skinny bitches are that you can eat anything you want.’ They’d say these things every single day. They’d stop when I asked, but I’d asked them time and time again not to make comments like that, and the next day they would.
I’d ignore this, and to be honest it didn’t bother me that much. Then they moved on to insulting my body. They’d make comments about how skinny I am, that my arms looked like twigs, I shouldn’t lose any more weight. They told me I’d never get a boyfriend until I put on weight, and would talk about celebrities with bodies similar to mine, saying how disgusting and boyish they looked.
I’ve gained weight since I started eating better! I’m a 8UK, but I’m very fit/athletic, and have clear muscle definition with no bones sticking out. I do not look underweight by any means. I’d tell them not to make comments about my body, that I felt it was hurtful and inappropriate. They’d stop, tutting, rolling their eyes and mumbling under their breath about how I was being dramatic and shoot eachother looks.
Again this continued, one day (about a month ago) I told them that they wouldn’t like it if I made comments like that to them, only to be told that “being told you’re skinny is a good thing, you can’t be bullied for being skinny.’ I reiterated that I found it upsetting, and didn’t want them mentioning my food/eating/weight, and that I would take things further if it continued. To be honest, it was an empty threat, and I chose instead to eat lunch outside alone. They’d still make comments during work – the job involves some webchat/emailing, so we often have down time to chat.
Anyway, as time has gone on they get worse and worse. Two days ago I was talking to a girl from another team about the pizza I had the night before, and overheard Sally joking that I probably threw it straight back up. The final straw was today. There’s building work going on opposite my building, so I decided to have lunch in the canteen today to avoid the noise and dust. Joan, Sally and Julie decided to hold an intervention for my ‘eating disorder’. Like I mentioned above, I do not look underweight and they’ve seen me eat pretty much every day for five years. This was purely malicious.
I basically lost it, and yelled at them. My team leader was in the canteen at the time, and took me into the corridor. She told me if I was having problems to take it to HR. She was supportive and said she’d noticed they were ‘jealous’ and being ‘mean’ to me, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it as it was a HR issue. So I went to HR. As I mentioned at the beginning, Joan is best friends with the HR manager.
I told the HR manager everything, to have her tell me I was wasting her time, and that skinny shaming wasn’t real, and that everything they said was meant as a compliment. I asked to file a complaint and she refused. I can’t remember the rules for making complaints exactly (will check the code of conduct tomorrow when I go in), but from memory, it’s the same as warnings eg, I have to give verbal, written, final complaints before things can escalate above HR. I rather pathetically stormed out of her office and left work for the day.
I’m at a loss what to do now. I’ve spoken to my co-workers and HR to be told that this problem is not a problem, and they won’t do anything about it. I’m trying to go through the proper channels and being denied! I have in the past asked to swap breaktimes and been told I can’t due to timetabling. I’m planning on asking to switch to another team. I’m jobhunting, but I live in an area with high unemployment and so I don’t want to leave my job without having another in it’s place. Am I blowing this out of proportion? I feel like such a pathetic little child.
TLDR: Co-workers are skinny-shaming me daily, HR is best friends with one and refuses to file a complaint for me.
Megan’s Peaceful Workplace Changed When Coworkers Started Targeting Her Appearance
Twenty-nine-year-old Megan had always considered herself a hardworking and dependable employee. She had been working for the same company for nearly four years and had built a reputation for being responsible, organized, and easy to work with. She rarely became involved in office drama and preferred to focus on her responsibilities. Most of her coworkers respected her, and she had several people at work whom she considered friends. Her job was not always easy, but she had generally been happy there. That changed when a small group of coworkers began making repeated comments about her appearance.

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Megan had always been naturally slim, and her weight had never been something she considered an important part of her identity. She understood that people looked different and had never expected everyone to have the same body type. Unfortunately, some of her coworkers began treating her appearance as entertainment. At first, the comments seemed like occasional jokes, but they gradually became more frequent.

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One coworker would ask Megan whether she had eaten lunch whenever they saw her in the break room. Another would make comments about how her clothes looked too loose. Sometimes they would laugh and ask whether she was trying to “disappear.” Megan initially tried to ignore them because she did not want to create unnecessary tension at work.
She eventually realized that ignoring the comments was not making them stop. Instead, the coworkers seemed to believe that her silence meant they could continue. They began making jokes in front of other employees and sometimes commented about her body during meetings. Megan started feeling uncomfortable simply walking into certain areas of the office.
The situation became particularly embarrassing during lunch breaks. Megan would sit down with her food, and someone would make a comment about how much she was eating. If she finished her meal, they joked that it was surprising. If she did not finish it, they made comments about her supposedly not eating enough. She began avoiding the break room altogether.
Megan tried speaking directly to the coworkers involved. She calmly told them that she did not appreciate comments about her body and wanted them to stop. Instead of apologizing, they laughed and accused her of being overly sensitive. One coworker told her that everyone was only joking and that she needed to learn how to take a joke.
That response made Megan realize that the problem was not a single inappropriate comment. It was a pattern of behavior. The coworkers knew she was uncomfortable and continued anyway. She decided that she needed to address the issue through the proper workplace channels.
Before contacting HR, Megan began documenting everything. She wrote down the dates and times of incidents, the exact nature of the comments, and the names of anyone who had witnessed them. She also saved workplace messages containing inappropriate remarks. She wanted to make sure that if she reported the problem, she could provide specific information instead of simply saying that people were being mean to her.
After several weeks of documentation, Megan requested a meeting with HR. She entered the meeting believing that someone would finally help her. She explained that the comments had become frequent, that she had already asked the coworkers to stop, and that the behavior was affecting her ability to feel comfortable at work.
The HR representative listened but did not seem particularly concerned. He described the situation as workplace joking and suggested that Megan try not to take the comments personally. Megan was surprised by his response. She explained that she had clearly told the coworkers to stop, yet they continued.
She asked whether her complaint could be formally documented. The HR representative told her that he did not think that was necessary at that point. He suggested that she simply avoid engaging with the coworkers and let the situation settle down naturally. Megan left the meeting feeling disappointed.
A few days later, the comments continued. In fact, they became more direct. One coworker made a joke about Megan having complained to HR. That immediately concerned her because she had expected the conversation with HR to remain private. She began wondering how the coworkers had learned about her complaint.
Megan soon noticed that the HR representative appeared unusually close to one of the employees she had complained about. They frequently had lunch together and sometimes talked privately in the office. Megan did not want to assume that their friendship was the reason her complaint had been dismissed, but the situation made her uncomfortable.
She returned to HR and asked whether there was a way to escalate the complaint. The representative again discouraged her from doing so. He told her that formal complaints could create unnecessary tension and potentially damage workplace relationships. Megan responded that the relationships were already damaged because she was being repeatedly targeted.
After that conversation, Megan realized that she could not depend on the same person to solve the problem. She began reviewing the employee handbook and company policies. She discovered that the organization had another reporting channel for serious workplace concerns. Employees could submit complaints directly to a compliance department or higher-level management if they believed their initial complaint had not been handled appropriately.
Megan carefully prepared a new report. She included the dates of the incidents, the comments that had been made, the names of witnesses, and copies of relevant workplace messages. She also explained that she had already spoken to HR and had not received an adequate response.
She was careful not to make accusations that she could not prove. Instead, she described the apparent relationship between the HR representative and one of the employees involved and explained why she believed there could be a conflict of interest. Her goal was not revenge. She simply wanted someone independent to review the situation.
This time, the response was completely different. A senior employee contacted Megan and told her that her concerns would be formally reviewed. She was asked to provide additional information and identify coworkers who may have witnessed the behavior. Megan finally felt that someone was taking her seriously.
Several employees were interviewed during the investigation. Some admitted that they had heard the comments, while others explained that they had noticed Megan avoiding certain coworkers and areas of the office. One employee confirmed that the jokes had become a regular occurrence and said that people continued making them even after Megan had asked them to stop.
The investigation also examined Megan’s original HR complaint. Questions were raised about why the complaint had not been formally documented and how information about it had apparently reached the employees involved. The company reviewed whether proper procedures had been followed.
The coworkers responsible for the repeated comments were eventually disciplined under the company’s workplace conduct policies. They were warned that personal comments about colleagues’ bodies and continued harassment were unacceptable. The company also reminded the entire department about appropriate workplace behavior.
The HR representative was also questioned about how he handled Megan’s complaint. Megan never learned every detail of the internal review, but she was told that the company had concerns about how the situation had been managed. The matter was no longer being treated as a simple disagreement between coworkers.
For Megan, the most important change was that the atmosphere at work improved. The comments stopped, and she no longer felt like she had to plan her day around avoiding certain people. She began eating lunch in the break room again and gradually regained the confidence she had lost.
Some coworkers apologized privately. Others never acknowledged what they had done. Megan decided that she did not need an apology from everyone in order to move forward. What mattered was that the behavior had stopped and that the company had finally recognized that her concerns were legitimate.
The experience taught Megan that standing up for herself did not mean retaliating against the people who had bullied her. She never insulted them, threatened them, or tried to embarrass them publicly. Instead, she documented what happened and used every appropriate channel available to her.
She also learned that workplace policies only help employees when they are actually followed. Her first attempt to report the problem had failed because the person handling it did not take her concerns seriously. That did not mean she had no options. By learning the company’s escalation process and presenting the facts clearly, she was eventually able to reach someone who would investigate.
Looking back, Megan wished she had spoken up sooner. She had spent too much time worrying that people would think she was dramatic or unable to take a joke. She eventually realized that there was a clear difference between harmless humor and repeatedly targeting someone after they had asked for it to stop.
In the end, Megan did not “take matters into her own hands” by seeking revenge. She took control of the situation by refusing to remain silent when the official process failed her. She documented the bullying, escalated her complaint, and made sure the issue reached people who could actually address it.
Her experience became a reminder that no employee should have to accept repeated humiliation simply to keep the peace at work. Megan could not control what her coworkers thought about her appearance, but she could control how she responded to their behavior. By standing up for herself professionally and persistently, she eventually created the respectful workplace environment she had been asking for from the beginning.





